Happy Home-iversary

One Year.

She's been with us for an entire year.

It's incredibly hard to believe that a year ago today we brought Maylia home .

Funny enough, as hard as it is to process that she's been with us a year...it's almost harder for me to comprehend what life was like B.M. -- before Maylia. It feels like she's always been part of our family.

It's been an incredible year with her, though sadly not as well documented as I would have liked. Thankfully there has been no shortage of photos, but also no shortage of fun, laughter, love and memories that sum up the past 365 days. I took a short video during our little 'Home-iversary'celebration and had everyone say why they were grateful to have Maylia in our family. Grayson said because she is so hilarious and cute, Sophia said Maylia was her best friend, Steele said there was no shortage of entertainment, and Todd and I both said that she was everything --and we mean everything-- we had hoped for.

But I suppose more important that considering how much our lives have changed over the past year because of her, how much our family has learned and grown, it is more significant to consider how much she has changed, learned and grown over the past year.

The physical changes are the most obvious, she's heavier, taller , and has longer hair. That spark of personality that was so evident even in the first few days of meeting her has grown into a mischievous and fiery fun personality. Developmentally she progressed so much, her language, her gross and fine motor control, her independence and physical ability, though she still has a ways to go.

It's funny, a few weeks ago I was expressing some worry about her language development, remember ing that her doctor at the International Adoption clinic had said that once a child has been with you for a year that they should be at developmental level. She does not have the language ability that many of her peers do and I had started to worry about that. After expressing that concern to my grandmother, she remarked that I shouldn't focus on what she had't learned yet, but instead on what she had.
Over the course of the day I began to do that and, as my perspective changed, so did my appreciation of her growth, as measured by what is truly important.

She has learned her name and looks at you when you call her.
She can recognize herself in photographs and says "me!" when she see's her picture or reflection.

She has learned that she is a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a cousin and a niece.
She is learning how to share and that she has friends and teachers.

She has learned to pray.
She has learned to show reverence and at times, to sit still.

She is learning to say please and sometimes, even to wait.
She has learned to be strong and independent and to ask for what she wants.
She is learning to accept no for an answer and to accept and make a different choice.

She has learned to trust -- that she if she is hurt she will be hugged, if she falls she will be picked up and that if she jumps she will be caught.

Above all, she has learned that she is part of a family, that she belongs to us and that we belong to her and nothing,
nothing,
nothing in this world will ever change that.


Happy Homecoming Maylia. We can't imagine life without you.

Where have 6 months gone?

It's hard to believe it has been 6 months since I've posted. I'm not known for doing much consistently in my life -- except procrastinating perhaps. So much has happened and Maylia has grown so much as a simple visual will tell you. In the past 6 months we've gone from



pixie short

 


to single ponytail

to double

 to a chic shaggy sumo style

Maylia continues to surprise and delight us and not a day goes by that we don't feel abundantly blessed to have her.

A-Maylia Pond

Over the past several weeks Maylia has seen more than her fair share of Doctors and medical professionals. From the international adoption clinic, to the medicentre for blood tests, Stollery Cardiology, Stollery Emergency, Bonnie Doon Health Center for immunizations - 5 of them - and back again to the International Adoption Clinic. It is not surprising then, that when she sees a nurse , a doctor or anyone wearing scrubs or a white lab coat she is more than a bit suspect.

But there is one Doctor Maylia has no trouble with.

Which Doctor you say? Doctor who -- you may ask? And therein lies the answer. Doctor Who.

Since Christmas our entire family has been more than a little obsessed with the BBC Doctor WHo series. We'd all noticed it on Netflix and had been hearing about it on the news, a revival that began as the series approached its 50th anniversary. We had talked about trying it out and finally over Christmas, as we cocooned ourselves in our home over Maylia bonding, we gave it a try one night. And then the next night. And then the next night and the next and the next and the next and here we are, in March nearly concluding series 6.

The fun thing about the series is that it's one that our whole family has loved, from oldest to youngest. Too often family movie night is rife with disagreement where the show that is loved by the boys is loathed by the girls and vice versa. But there has been something rather magical about Doctor Who. Quirky, Sci Fi, silly, and sometimes completely ridiculous, but so fun and funny and delightfully, refreshingly clean content. There's certainly not a lot nowadays you can say that about.

Maylia has her very own love for the Doctor. Every night as we begin an episode Maylia stands centre stage to dance to the opening credits. She spins, smiles and waves her arms - we call it the Dalek Dance. When the song concludes, she climbs up onto the couch beside us with her book or iPad or snacks and settles in pretty well for the duration of the episode. As the closing credits roll she's up on her feet again, spinning and waving and shakin' what her momma gave her.

Additionally as part of our nightly routine we kneel for family prayer at the couch. Maylia's got that all figured out too and has taken on a CPI or Chief Prayer Inspector role. At our 'call to prayer' she kneels beside the couch and puts both hands to her eyes. She's usually the first one and as everyone else slowly kneels around she peeks out from behind her hands to call out anyone -- usually Grayson -- whose eyes are still open. She'll wave her hand at them " Gaow, gaow" -- her word and action for " get your eyes closed you heathen", and then continues to monitor us all until the "amen".

Then it's " Ni-night" and kisses for everyone and up to bed.

We couldn't ask for a better prescription for a family tradition.

There and Back Again

Little did we realize that just a couple of weeks later we'd have to return our little Hobbit back to the Stollery...but this time to emergency. Over the course of the day, she had started to show signs and symptoms of coming down with a cold or flu. Though she had received the first part of the flu immunization, she wasn't scheduled to receive the second part until the following week. Because everyone else had been immunized, I hoped that the cold would be contained and short lived. Turned out my hope was the only thing that was short lived.

It didn't take long for her cough to get worse and her breathing more laboured. By evening she was wheezing at every breath and was nearly at a whistle. I was going to take her to the bathroom and run the hot water to help steam out the congestion, when Todd made an inspired suggestion to call the HealthLink. The nurse asked a couple of questions about her breathing ( i.e. finger nails turning blue - no- , skin either around her ribs or between her shoulder and neck sinking in with each breath - yes- )

The nurse then asked if she could listen to Maylia through the phone. I put the receiver next to Maylia's mouth for a few moments and then back to my ear.

" You need to take her right in to emergency", the nurse said.

We didn't waste a minute, quickly dressed and readied a bag, reassured our kids and gave them instructions to put themselves to bed. Todd followed me to the hospital just in case one of us needed to stay with her over night.
As we registered through the triage station we mentioned to the attendant there that the nurse had listened other on the phone and told us to come in. He said , "normally I laugh when they say they can hear how bad it is over the phone, but I can sure hear her. It's incredibly tight," is the way he described it. By this point Maylia, though tired, had enough energy left make it pretty clear that she wasn't happy about being checked over by a nurse or doctor . Those darn white coats again!!
Thankfully he didn't have to do much before we were told to wait until our name was called. We walked past several people and found a couple of chairs, sat down...and then they called our name.

Todd hadn't even sat down at this point.
I dared not look anybody in the waiting room in the eye, knowing exactly what they were thinking -- " How did they get ahead of us??"

"It must be bad," I sort of half-joked to Todd as we followed the nurse to a room. The nurse gave her a quick check-up -- much to Maylia's annoyance -- and then we sat for several minutes waiting for the Doctor.
She finally arrived, only to make Maylia mad again. I thought how much I really needed to get a toy doctor's kit for her to play with as the stethoscope seemed to elicit an immediate panicked reaction from her. As the Doctor listened to her breathing she determined that Maylia was having an asthmatic-like reaction to the virus she had. She couldn't be sure if she was asthmatic -- only time would tell -- but they would treat her symptoms as if it were an asthma attack. She also said that it wasn't uncommon for internationally adopted children -- particularly those from asian countries to show asthma-like symptoms when they come to Canada. 'Perhaps their lungs couldn't handle all that clean air! ', I thought to myself.
She asked a little more about her health history and we told her as much as we knew at that point-- what Maylia had been diagnosed with and what we had learned so far: No heart condition but still unsure about the Thallessemia. The doctor said she would see if the blood results had been posted and that the nurse would return shortly with the medicine.

A few minutes later the nurse came back, this time with an inhaler and a small handheld ventilator in order to help administer the medicine. She would need to have two types of medicine and take about 5 breaths per dose . I was sure glad Todd was with me as I knew it would take at least two of us to give her the medicine. I was wrong. It took three of us.

Maylia screamed and struggled as we pinned her down and the nurse calmly pointed out the positive side of Maylia's loud sobs -- deeper breaths yielding more intake of the medicine.

About every 45 minutes for the next 2 and a half hours we did the same MMA routine, us using our best wrestling moves to keep her pinned, Maylia using all her strength to resist. In between doses she was quite content -- even happy -- and definitely more energetic than either of us felt. On the second dose the nurse mentioned to us that the medicine would have a stimulating effect and we saw immediate results. Todd and I were starting to tire out but she was happy, playful and her mischievous self. It was good to see Miss Maylia return to normal.

The doctor told us that Maylia would have to test nearly perfect to be released. Just after midnight she came in one last time and checked her over. Hardly a trace of the congestion. It seemed even her flu symptoms had nearly disappeared.


We thanked the nurses and the Doctor and even Maylia had a wave and a "Bye -bye" for them. No hard feelings. The Doctor waved goodbye and then said, " oh, by the way " her blood tests came back. She's negative for the Thallessemia and and they screened her for one other thing. She's negative for that too."

As we walked out of emergency - once again passed worried waiting parents as they sat with their sick or injured children -- we just shook our head again, amazed and grateful at " the multitude of tender mercies" we had been shown.

Two of Hearts : Maylia's Miracle Pt. 2

She'd had a pretty restless night so I didn't have the heart ( or the energy) to wake her up before 6 to try and feed her . I let her sleep as long as possible and when she woke, tried to get her to drink some apple juice. I gave her her last sip at 9:02... then kept my fingers crossed. We would leave at 10:00 which would give us plenty of time to arrive and park for our 11 a.m.appointment -- driving and walking which would hopefully distract her from her hunger. Wouldn't you know that  a half an hour before we were to leave she hurt her hand and I was reminded then how often I use food or drink to comfort or distract her . I couldn't give her anything and kind words and cuddling seemed to be a poor substitute at this point. Aside from the legitimate pain in her hand were the hunger pangs -- all conspiring to make her as miserable as possible before we would arrive.

But arrive we did and though she seemed a little nervous when we checked in and entered the waiting area , there were plenty of people and objects to quiet and distract her . Unfortunately it wasn't long before her irritability caught up with her and I tried desperately to keep her occupied while silently praying that they would call our name.

                                                  ( a sad selfie while in the waiting room)

Finally it was our turn and they took us into the same room to do her measurements again -- why, I couldn't understand. Surely she couldn't have changed that much in two days. After trying unsuccessfully to get her to stand on the scale, it was finally decided to have me go on the scale while holding her, put her down, then stand on the scale alone and subtract the difference.

I   had to get weighed?? Now it was my turn to be irritable.

They gave up on measuring her and took us into another room where a nurse -- a lovely , kind nurse -- spoke first to Maylia and then to me . She tried to hook her up to a machine that would record her vitals before - and during - the administered sedative. It was a battle - two adults vs. one toddler, but eventually we prevailed and Maylia's toes were taped and connected to the machine. Once there was a good reading, I held her tight so the nurse could administer the sedative. It was oral , like a medicine, called Chloral Hydrate and, according to the nurse, would taste terrible. " To be fair I always taste the things I have to give my patients" , she said.

So here was poor Maylia: hungry, angry, and likely feeling more than a bit betrayed by me. She cried and screamed as I held her in my lap, wrapping myself around her little legs and arms so the nurse could squirt 3 syringes full of nasty tasting sedative into her mouth.  Some mother I had turned out to be!

Maylia was a champ -- swallowed then screamed and clung to me close as I held and rocked her. "It will take about 15 minutes for her to fall asleep," the nurse said. Hopefully Maylia could forgive me before then.

The nurse dimmed the lights  and in just over five minutes we could both hear the sounds of rhythmic breathing and even snoring. She had exhausted herself and was getting some well earned rest.

The nurse pushed the machine and we were led into a room where we lay Maylia on a hospital bed where she would first receive an ultrasound of her chest. They brought in warmed blankets to tuck around her and then the technician came in and began scanning her. She would need to take over a hundred images of her heart and it would take about 40 minutes. We were all glad she was sedated.

They dimmed the lights and I sat quietly watching our little girl while the technician began to work and our nurse continues to monitor her. I watched images of her little heart flash on the screen. Though routine for the technician and the nurse, for myself I found it was both humbling and incredible to watch -- a quiet holy moment , awestruck by the wonder of the human body. I couldn't help but think back to the first time I heard Steele's heartbeat in an ultrasound, then Grayson's, then Sophia. How grateful I was, in that unique moment, to now experience Maylia's heart as well. To see it beat, to hear that extraordinary rhythm that sustained her precious little life.

After her hundred photos, the technician moved her equipment and then another woman came in to do an ECG. I desperately wanted to ask them if they had noticed anything but knew that they weren't allowed too. I prayed, and kept my fingers crossed for good measure.

The Electrocardiogram was finished quite quickly and when she was finished I picked Maylia up into my arms and accompanied the nurse into a room where the doctor would meet us and go over the test results. Maylia continued to sleep and the nurse continued to monitor her for the next several minutes. Slowly, and rather groggily, Maylia began to wake up. She was incredibly dozy - almost dizzy-like -- an effect of the Chloral hydrate that would take several hours to wear off. " Keep an eye other when she gets home," the nurse encouraged, " it will be a while before she can stand or walk steadily. "

Maylia stayed in my arms, head on my shoulder, her arms tucked into her chest. I hoped that meant that she'd forgiven me for restraining and sedating her. After several more minutes the doctor came in, a Dr. Khoo, who looked Asian but sounded like he originated from Australia or possibly even South Africa.
He, like the rest of the staff was incredibly kind and helpful. He asked a few questions and then I gave him the health records -- both Chinese and the translated versions -- for him to review. At one point he was talking out loud , though almost, to himself. He seemed almost incredulous as he read certain sections. I sat waiting, and hoping.

I was just going to ask what he thought when he turned to me and said the words we had hoped to hear, " Well, I don't think I'll ever need to see Maylia again."
I tried not to smile too wide and to scream inside. He went through the reports a little more thoroughly but said essentially, the hole must have healed on it's own, "there is no indication of any problem and everything looks normal". I shook his hand -- restrained a hug -- and that was it.

I couldn't believe it. I mean we were told this might be the case when she was seen at the international clinic but still, to hear it here and to know for certain. It was an indescribable feeling of relief . We gathered up our bags, said goodbye and profusely thanked the extraordinary staff. I took one last look at the waiting room, full of families. Some of them looked almost relaxed -- like this was one of many visits they had already made, whereas others looked worried and anxious and held their children close in their arms. I walked past them and out in to the hallway and said a silent thankful prayer again.

Two of Hearts: Maylia's Miracle Pt 1

"It's probably my white coat," she laughed. For whatever reason, Maylia had become anxious and clingy. She had been doing so well around new people , I was surprised to see her so nervous. " I bet it's my white coat," she insisted. And I finally decided she was right. The past few weeks for Maylia had included a number of Doctor and clinic appointments. She had been poked and prodded, weighed, measured, checked and re-checked again. So when we met a friend of mine at the hospital where she worked, as we were on our way to our first cardiologist appointment, I finally had to agree, that her white lab coat was what set her off. Not a great omen.

We had been so fortunate to get into see the cardiologist as soon as we had. After Dr. Baxter had seen Maylia at the international adoption clinic, she sent in a referral to the Stollery Pediatric Cardiology. But she had also told us, that with Maylia doing so well that it would probably be at least 6 months before we got in. So, needless to say, we were surprised when they called to book an appointment just a few weeks later.

After visiting with Christy, she walked us through the maze of elevators and corridors to the Stollery Cardiology Unit.

We checked in and sat in the waiting room and I was amazed at how busy it was. It struck me how many families -- how many children -- struggle with health challenges. There were infants, toddlers, children and teens, all waiting with their concerned parents to be seen. I felt so lucky that Maylia's health had been so good to this point. Now we were just waiting to confirm if we would continue to be so lucky.

We were called in to the first room where they would take her measurements. Maylia seemed to know exactly what was going on and began whimpering -- then crying -- then outright screaming. We couldn't get her to stand on the scale and it took two of us to hold her on the counter so they could measure her height. After struggling for several minutes with her they took us to the hallway where they would tape a monitor to her toe to check her blood pressure. Cue more wriggling, crying and screaming. After kicking it off for the third time, the patient, but clearly concerned attendant said , " I don't know if we will be able to do this today ."

After discussing it with her we decided that , despite my willingness to hold her down, the only way to get accurate readings would be to sedate her -- and that would mean coming back on another day. Though I wasn't keen on having to come back again, the most important thing was to do this right so I went back out to reception where they could re-schedule us. Fortunately , they could book us in for that Friday, so two days later we were back again.

This time was a little more challenging. Not only would Maylia know exactly what was going to happen when we entered the hospital, this time, due to the sedative they would give her, she had to come fasting. No solid food after 6 a.m. and no liquids of any kind after 9 a.m.

This was going to be a treat.

Kung Hei Fat Choy!

It is only fitting that mere weeks after making -- and then breaking --  my first New Years' resolutions, I get an opportunity to try again. Let's hear it for Chinese New Year, or, as it is better known, the Lunar Festival or the Spring Festival. But, with Snowy clouds covering our Edmonton moon, and frigid temperatures smothering anything spring, Chinese New Year it will  be.

We had been looking forward to beginning this new tradition, a way to keep our family connected to Maylia's culture, and a way to keep Maylia connected to an important part of her identity and history. I wanted to celebrate it in a simple but meaningful way and read what I could about it. After reading on line and speaking with friends who also celebrate it, I concluded that Chinese New Year was really about 3 things : Food, Family & Fun.
And so with that code of cultural conduct in mind we set out to do just that. Because we hadn't had a Shipley get together in a while we invited Todd's parents and siblings to join us on Saturday( those siblings who lived close enough to come). WalMart supplied the decorations, and Costco most of the food. We totalled 23, thanks to Ryah who had been born earlier that week. All the kids had a great time together -- though you wouldn't know it because as the hostess, I forgot to delegate photography duties.    We ate, drank and made merry, and had about as many appetizers as we had people. We definitely put the 'Fat' in Kung Hei Fat Choy!
Just like I've tried to do at Christmas, every year we'll try to add a little more to the celebrations -- (maybe a MahJong tournament?! )And because of where we are fortunate to live, that should be easily done.
What a blessing to live in a country, a city -- and more especially,  a family and church community where Maylia won't ever be far from that important part of her. Edmonton is one of many cities in Canada with a thriving Chinese culture. Even the Muttart conservatory's show pyramid is dedicated to The Year of the Horse. Edmonton Public Schools has received international acclaim for their Chinese Language Programs, with instruction at the elementary, Jr. High and High School levels -- one of which conveniently located across the street from us. Edmonton's Confucius Institute, a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting Chinese culture and language has also been recognized for the second time in 3 years for outstanding innovation in Chinese language education. http://confuciusedmonton.ca

Amongst our friends and our church community we are no less blessed. We have friends who are Chinese and friends who have served Chinese speaking missions. Most recently the church has placed several Mandarin speaking missionaries here and the church itself has even developed a website for Chinese nationals who join the church outside of China. http://www.mormonsandchina.org


But it is perhaps in our own family where our connections to China are even more remarkable. A few years ago, when we first began the adoption process we had begun the application for Thailand. With Todd speaking Thai from his missionary service there, the visits we had enjoyed to that country --( not to mention he great food!), to adopt from Thailand seemed like a natural fit . A couple of years later, when the Thailand program folded and we switched our application to China, we quickly realized that we had an even greater connection to that great country:

- Both Todd's Dad and my uncle served their missions in Hong Kong
- Todd's parents served another mission in China, teaching English in Beijing and delivering wheelchairs as part of the church's humanitarian efforts
- Another of my uncles married ( his second wife) who was from China; they had a child, a daughter , who now lives in California.
- Perhaps most extraordinarily, 40 years ago my grandparents themselves adopted a little girl here in Alberta -- herself 1/2 Chinese. Her and her husband now have 4 children. One of their sons served a mission to Taiwan, came home and married a Chinese girl and they have a darling daughter of their own.


I spoke with my grandmother recently about all of this and she said had been speaking to my grandfather about the very same thing.   " When we were growing up" she said, " the only Chinese people we knew were the ones who owned a local restaurant and some friends we had met in Hawaii.  Then, when we were starting our family, never in our wildest dreams did we ever think that we ourselves would be blessed with these wonderful Chinese grandchildren and great-grandchildren. "

In some ways it feels like we've come full circle, with my grandparents adopting in one generation and we adopting in another one. Perhaps that circle can best be represented by another Chinese tradition or philosophy rather : the Yin-Yang, or 'seemingly opposite or contrary forces' which are in fact 'interconnected and interdependent'.
If it's true that  " Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary (instead of opposing) forces interacting to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the parts, "  then our little Maylia Wei Yang, completes and connects our family, our Yin,  together. She is the sunny side that lights and delights our Shipley shade. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_and_yang She's the one that makes our family whole.

Now that's a tradition worth celebrating.