Monday night, December 9 -- To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Meal time, not bad, bathtime, surprisingly good. Could we run a triple play with a good bedtime? We were certainly willing to try. 

Now, the blessing of being parents, before we were adoptive parents, was that we could make all the mistakes and completely screw up our other kids before we tried things out on Maylia. Of all the things Todd and I had learned , of the things we had disagreed upon and the things we were united on, one thing the years had reinforced to us both was the first and great commandment of parenting : Kids need your love. And the second is like unto it, and certainly just as important: Kids need your limits.

No matter how much we wanted to not just love her but to completely spoil this hoped for little girl; No matter how much we wanted her to love us and attach to us, we both know that loving her was also about setting some expectations for her, helping her to understand a structure and routine that would help to provide not just consistency and predictability but would help her feel safe and secure. 

There were a few schools of thought when it came to bedtime, particularly with a newly adopted child. Leaving them alone to cry it out in a room by themselves was absolutely not an option. The grief and trauma that accompanies the adoption upheaval , even in a life so little, is very real and must me handled very carefully. She needed to know that we cared and needed to know that we were there. Some families opt for a shared bed, much like with a newborn, but we felt that starting down that road becomes very difficult to turn back from and didn’t want to begin a routine that we would have to break or change later on. The hotel supplied us with a crib so we set it up right between us: Todd was on the bed on one side, I laid on a chaise on the other side and Maylia in the middle. Because she hadn’t had much of a nap that day we hoped her fatigue would work in our favour. We placed her in the crib and she immediately began to cry. Though it was hard to watch and listen to her sound so completely sad, it was, in an odd way, a little reassuring. We hadn’t seen much energy or emotion from her the entire day. Turning so quickly to tears reassured us that, developmentally at least, she was showing pretty typical emotions and behaviors. Todd and I promised each other that we would not take her from the crib. We would stay beside her, talk to her quietly and reassure her but resist taking her out, lest she figure out pretty quick what she would need to do in order to escape her simple confines. 

Now , that said, if things for her seemed seriously traumatic, indicated either by the sound of her cries or if she began to engage in self-harming behaviour we would definitely remove her and try another strategy. Watching a little boy earlier at the Civil Affairs office, scream with rage ,even fear , and bang his head wildly, caused me to offer a silent prayer of thanks, one of many I had offered that day, that even though our little girl yelled and cried , after about 15 minutes or so began to yawn and rub her eyes and literally start to fall asleep on her feet. We kept taking to her quietly all this time and as her head began to bow and her eyes closed we leaned over and laid her down and watched this extraordinary little person settle into rhythmic breathing and , if it was possible, become even more perfect in our eyes. 

Monday Evening, December 9 -- Getting To Know You 2

We returned to our hotel and looked forward to an evening of becoming more acquainted. We decided to try the hotel’s buffet for dinner. We were seated and wondered what we would begin to feed her, knowing her limitations for chewing and swallowing. She sat on my lap while I tore off small pieces of a sweet roll and placed them in her mouth to melt. Todd dished up some pork congee that was there and with a plastic ikea spoon a waitress had given us we tried to give her some. She licked a little from the spoon and we let her hold one of the other plastic utensils that she would dip into the bowl. 

We finished our meal and headed up to our room. At this point we had never put her down -- one of us had always held her. We quickly learned that not only being held was her preference but being held while standing. She would always seem to become agitated and upset if we tried to sit down. Since we had kids and nieces and nephews who responded the same way we weren’t too alarmed and eased her into it slowly. Eventually I sat down with her on my lap. She would gesture for something and reach but would never leave my lap. Since she was pretty covered in congee from dinner we decided to brave a bath. We weren’t certain what she was used to so we turned on the water, I put on a swimsuit, we took off her clothes and gently set her on my lap. She gingerly put her feet in the water and began to touch it with her hands. Using a few hollow shape sorter blocks from a toy we had purchased earlier, I poured a little bit of water on her, first on her arms, then her hands and eventually her head. She sniffed and shook her head but never cried or seemed upset which both thrilled and surprised us at the same time. She did just as well when we washed her hair and we sang her praises as we took her from the bath, dried her off and put on her p,j,s. 

Monday, December 9 - Getting To Know You

That first afternoon of acquaintance was quite extraordinary. From the moment she came to us there were no tears. She seemed rather tired and completely mellow and I’m sure the experience was completely overwhelming for her but she also seemed to take it all in and be quite at ease with us. Some of her delays became obvious right away. As we offered her crackers or snacks , though she accepted them in her mouth,  she only held them in her mouth -- without chewing or swallowing. In fact she didn’t seem to know how to chew -- she would just wait for the food to melt in her mouth before she swallowed it. 

She didn’t seem to want a bottle and when we offered her a sippy cup she couldn’t suck from it so we would just squirt a little bit of liquid into her mouth to help her understand how it worked. Walking was also difficult for her and we noticed her right leg was rather pronated. She seemed to want to be held and because we knew that attachment can be encouraged that way we were more than happy to indulge. Aside from those initial little worries we were grateful she seemed so content with us and knew that those things were all part of what you take on when a child has been in institutionalized care. 

She sat on my lap as we drove to the grocery store ( the ‘no rules for drivers in China’ that our guide mentioned also applies to passengers as there are no car seat requirements). 

We walked down the shopping street  not far from our hotel and Becky took us into the “Women and Children’s Essentials Store” -- that was its name. We took the elevator to the second floor and found, well, all the essentials. Because we weren’t sure of her size before we left and were told we could buy most of what we needed in China , we had only brought a few clothes -- two outfits in 18 months and two in 24 months. It seems that many of the girls clothes here are covered in frills and lace with the wackiest combination of colours and patterns. They all look like a highly overdone scrapbook page. lets just say that ugly christmas sweaters seemed to be the rule rather than the exception. How I wished for a Winners, a WalMart or an Osh Kosh Kids! Most of the clothes in the store were much the same way until we came across a beautiful, (though pricey) line of clothes, simple, sweet and stylish.We chose three outfits, a couple of coats ( to brave the weather back in Beijing and at home), some boots and some diapers. What’s different about shopping in these stores, is that rather than gather your items and pay for them all at the till, you must get a separate receipt for each item in every department. One of several workers in each department fills out a slip of paper for the item you want, you go around choosing items and collecting slips of paper. Then you go to the cashier who tallies up all the receipts, you pay for the items, then go back around to all the departments to collect everything. It’s definitely a bit of a process.

What was interesting was that during that time of choosing, collecting and tallying, Todd and I were each taking turns carrying Maylia. At one point Todd was holding her and a store clerk came up to them. She said something to Maylia in Chinese and reached up her arms to her. I waited with baited breath to see how she would respond. Maylia just looked at her, then turned away and leaned in to Todd. Not a few minutes later I was holding her and another clerk tried the same thing. Much to my relief, Maylia once again, turned and leaned into me. I gave her a big hug, and our guide told us that the clerks were shocked we’d only had her for a few hours. Frankly so were we!

December 9 -- Now We Are Six

It’s hard to believe only a few minutes before we had been a family of five, and, in just a moment it all changed. Every once in a while you hear an insensitive adoption comment  -- “ Wow, you adopted. You took the easy way out -- no morning sickness, no labour pains -- that’s awesome! It is all I can do to give a restrained smile and think, “ The easy way out??? We waited 5 years, filled out hundred of forms, spent thousands of dollars. And during that gestation period we worried and wondered, had stressful days, and sleepness nights while we tried to prove ourselves to provincial, federal and international governments that we were ready and worthy to accept a child. And even then, a child with special needs who may require surgery, then therapy and a number of years to overcome effects of abandonment and attachment.

No it’s not pregnancy, nor a traditional labour and delivery but please, please, don’t tell us we took the easy way out. 

But that said, not unlike a traditional labour and delivery, in one sweet blissful moment all the worrying and wondering is swept away as you look into the face of a little child that you know has been part of you for a lot longer than the time you have spent holding her.

When I asked a friend what motivates or inspires her to run marathons -- a feat I can’t even imagine having the drive or desire to do -- she said that there is a feeling that comes when you conclude a race, this combination of exhaustion and emotion that is completely thrilling and fulfilling and unlike anything else she has ever experienced. Adoption -- and even traditional childbirth -- is the same way. In that moment, it is all worth it.

Monday Afternoon, Dec 9

At 1:45 our guide and driver picked us up at our hotel. “ We are going to the Civil Affairs Office” she told us, “Where we will sign some papers and you will meet your daughter. “ I felt strangely calm, not a trace of the anxiety I had felt that morning. By the way she described it I imagined a large office building, where we would go inside, sign some official documents and wait in a quiet room for her to be brought to us. 
Let’s just say it was NOTHING like either of us had imagined. 

We drove down what seemed like a narrow alleyway but what proved to be the entrance to the Civil Affairs office. As we exited the van I saw a number of caucasian families crowded around the doors, smiling, calling out and holding iPhones and videocameras. A shocked and smiling American couple were cooing over twin 15 month old girls . “ We didn’t realize they were ours” they said happily. As it turned out they ran into the nannies outside as their little girls were being brought in.

That’s when I saw her. 

A chinese girl walked quickly past us. Bundled in her arms was a little girl with big brown eyes. I caught her eyes as she walked past me. “ That’s her,” I said, “ That’s Maylia” Todd disagreed but I insisted. Our guide ran up to the nanny and said something in Chinese. She turned to me and asked, “ That girl is Chan Wei Yang. Is that your daughter?.” I said yes, savouring my ‘I told you so’ moment as I looked at Todd and smiled. Not only had we seen her. But she had seen us.

We ended up in the same elevator...along with a number of other families and nannies and babies. I tried to catch a glimpse of her again but in a few moments we arrived at the civil affairs office and she was whisked into another room while we were told to wait on the couch. 

We sat down and tried to take in the scene. Mom’s and Dad’s, nannies and babies, siblings and toddlers; some crying, some laughing, others filming, gushing, and fawning over their new little ones. It was a birthing room unlike any other. There were families of all shapes and sizes. Some were couples, receiving their first child, or children, in the case of the twins. There was a lady who appeared to be in her late 50’s or early 60’s , there with her sister, adopting a little girl. A family of 4 , with an older chinese daughter, and a young caucasian boy crowded around a little chinese boy of about 3. A young couple on the side of the room held and tried to comfort another little boy, clearly in distress over leaving his nanny and being placed in their arms. He flailed and screamed and banged his head as his new parents and nanny tried in vain to comfort him. Another  family of three with 4 different camera’s waved hands and called out to a little girl who had just joined their family. Over on the next couch, another couple sat waiting, like us as I’m sure we both wondered what our own experience would be like. 

And then it was our turn. Our guide came out of another room followed by two ladies, the oldest of whom was holding our little girl. They whispered something to her in Chinese and then placed her in my arms. Chan Wei Yang sat quietly and stared, completely oblivious to the extraordinary moment that had just taken place. Todd took some photos and caressed her head. She looked up at him, quiet and placid and sat calmly in my arms.

Todd was taken to the other room so he could pay the Orphanage Donation, a ‘fee’ of several thousand dollars paid by each adoptive family . 

“ Now you may ask questions” Becky said, pointing to the Nannys, three women from the Foshan City orphanage who had accompanied her. My mind was a complete blank --  Where to begin??

Thankfully our agency in Ottawa supplied us with a list of suggested questions to ask, both about her daily routine as well as her birth history. She had been brought in by a police officer, and the doctor who saw her was the one who named her. Her name didn’t have any particular meaning that we know of, it was just the name that he selected. Our guide handed us a copy of the newspaper clipping that announced both her discovery and a request for any knowledge of the whereabouts of her parents.   With no response or reply, she was identified as a ‘foundling’, given a certificate of abandonment and placed in government care. Such a sad, simple birth history. 

We learned a bit of her daily routine. Up at 6:00 and in bed by 10 -- quite a long day for a little girl. We were also surprised to learn that she was on bottle fed formula, and ate little solid food -- some fruit or perhaps a rice or pork congee -- similar to porridge. She came to us with red raw cheeks and the beginnings of a cold, but they said she had very good health. They also said she was a good girl and had nicknamed her Yung ya, which meant sun or sunshine. One caregiver kept watching her as I held her. She looked younger and had a repaired cleft lip. Saying goodbye was obviously difficult for her. Maylia watched her and the others, but stayed comfortably in my arms or Todd’s. We thanked the nannys, took a few photos and gathered our things to leave. 

Monday morning, Dec 9, 2013

Todd and I both woke up at about 3:30 unable to sleep . The day before as we had wandered through the busy shopping street , in a fit of calmness and common sense, I began to think what would happen if the three of us were all out on the street , I let go of her hand and Maylia got lost. Of course every worse possible case scenario then came to mind and I went quickly through the scenes of calling her name in a crowd to triggering an international incident where Canadians were no longer allowed to adopt from China. Needless to say, such sane thinking unfolded into ridiculous nightmares, and all night I dreamt we kept losing her over and over and over again. As one could imagine, by the time I got out of bed my anxiety was at a pretty high level. 

But just like the Ridikulus spell in Harry Potter, Todd disarmed my fears with kind and comforting words. by making fun of me and pointing out how truly insane my thinking was. I was finally able to laugh and relax over breakfast and since we had more than a few hours to kill we decided to head off and explore further the streets beyond our hotel.

There are times in a romantic and emotional state I would say I was lost without my husband, but without a doubt in a completely literal sense I Would Be Lost Without My Husband. Whether it’s navigating the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul or the back roads of Alberta, Todd has been blessed with a simply inhuman sense of direction. He’s the Global Positioning Shipley if you will. 

As we wandered away from our hotel ( okay, I wandered, he methodically walked) we began to wind our way into more interesting, and dare I say more fragrant streets. We quickly went from store fronts selling clothing and toys, to streets with spices, pets and plants and every other exotic offering one might want. 

Eventually we found our way into a multi-floored building FULL of stall after stall after stall-- there must have been 150 of them -- carrying the most extraordinary things we’d ever seen.

 Each stall seemed to carry one type of item, and there were multiple stalls carrying the same items. We walked past roots and rhizomes , display cases and apothecary bottles some full of ginseng and others with more sinister looking specimens. There were mushrooms and fungus, taxidermied deer and bags and bags of horns and antler slices. There were dried silkworms, dried plants but the ones that surprised me the most were the ones that had stacks and stacks and bags and bags...and more bags of seahorses -- yes, sea horses. This past winter when Todd and I were scuba diving in Mexico we were thrilled when our dive guide pointed out ONE seahorse, hiding amongst the coral. Now I know why it was hiding...and why there was only one! 

It was truly an unbelievable sight. What seemed even more interesting is that there was a shopkeeper in every place, tons and tons of inventory, yet no one seemed to be shopping. I wondered what they could possible do with all of it and then, as we walked out of the building and down the street  I answered at least part of the question. The largest building on the block was a hospital -- a hospital of traditional Chinese medicine. That, at least in part, explained what much of the items were used for. 

After a few further streets of electronics, hardware and even some hanging goat carcasses we returned to our own , now uneventful street and opted for more traditional fare for our lunch-- McDonalds. Though I have to say there is something disturbing that the food can taste exactly the same as it does anywhere else in the world, at that point, after goat carcasses and squid on a stick, we found One World One Taste rather comforting. Just as we were finishing up an American father sat down with his three sons, two of whom were Chinese, one of whom they had just adopted days before. 

Todd and I looked at each other. In less than an hour it would be our turn.

Sunday December 8 -- China Cross Country

We both slept well and awoke early, by 4:30 a.m. We exercised, read, got ready and headed down to the breakfast buffet. I noticed another caucasian couple, and thought for certain that they were the couple from Saskatchewan, also from Children’s Bridge. We sat down and began to eat , and although not unusual for Todd to ignore me while speaking, I noticed he seemed particularly attuned to the conversation of the table behind us. “ They’re speaking Thai” he said. Sure enough, a large group of Thai tourists were eating breakfast at various tables.Todd went over to one of them and visited with the group, who were shocked to hear, right here in Beijing, a white face gray haired guy who seemed to know all the nuances of the language as he conversed comfortably with them, telling them jokes and making them laugh.

Following our buffet we ventured outside into the sun-filtered day, a cloud of smog permeating the air. I loved that respiratory safety was as stylish as it was functional as we saw person after person wearing ‘designer’ face masks. After a short time out of doors we wished for ones of our own. Breathing was hard on the lungs -- like there was a forest fire nearby. 

We returned to our room, packed up and went to meet Joan and check out downstairs. Sure enough, we met the couple from Saskatchewan, the very ones we had suspected from the restaurant. They were downstairs ahead of us but just learned their flight had been cancelled. They were adopting from a different orphanage and the Shanghai airport had cancelled a number of flights due to the pollution, the highest level it had been at in years.

Sunday morning travel to the airport was much easier to navigate than Saturday evening and we arrived quickly. It was nice to have Joan take care of everything. Our payment to our agency in Ottawa covers all the in-China travel arrangements and it is certainly worth not having to worry about anything while we are here. Soon we boarded the plane to Guangzhou, along with a couple hundred other Chinese nationals, all of whom looked to be in their 20’s and 30’s. I imagined they were travelling back to work or home after a weekend away. We lifted off, headed over mountains and you could see the faint outline of the Great Wall running along mountain ridge tops in various directions.

After about 2 and 1/2 hours in the air we began our descent and observed an extraordinary landscape. Guangzhou is a city of about 10 million people, located in the Pearl River Delta. The Pearl River is the third largest River in China, after the Yangtze and the Yellow. The area is fertile and well developed, and Guangzhou is oftimes referred to as Goat City after the legend of its origins. “Five deities descended from the celestial realm riding five goats or rams, which were in five different colour and with ears of rice in their mouth, and brought a fine climate and bumper harvests to Guangzhou.” It claims to be the start point of the ‘famed Marine Silk Road’ and is widely considered to be the most vibrant commercial city in China. 

The more we have learned about it and the more we have seen of it, it really is quite extraordinary. As we flew in there was a ribbon of highway that seemed to wind its way along the path of the river, and as we followed its path it wound through building upon building, factory upon factory, which led to highrises and towers and commercial centres. It was quite something to see it seem to grow and morph from fields and river banks into a city of enormous proportions. 

We landed and met our next guide, Becky, and our driver, Mr Li who wound us through congested streets full of cars, bicycles, scooters and fearless pedestrians who all seemed to try and get where they were going at the same time. It felt not unlike Harry Potter and his friends as they road the Knight Bus through the streets of London, honking and dodging everything and everyone in our path. 

As I listened to Becky describe the city, my mind went somewhere else entirely. As we passed person after person, I looked into a thousand different faces, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I would see a familiar smile or brown eyes in the faces of one of these women, knowing that less than two years ago, someone, somewhere here had made the heartbreaking decision to let go of their little girl, to leave her somewhere where she could be found or rescued. Did she watch it happen? Was she there when the police officer picked her up? Did she hear her baby crying? Was she crying herself. Does she walk around everyday wondering where she is, haunted by her decision?

I think as much as I feel for our little Maylia Wei Yang, I feel just as strongly for her mother and almost wish I could bring her back with us as well, or at least leave her with the reassurance that whatever she thinks about that fateful day, she made the bravest, likely only decision she could make. 

I was jolted from my melancholy meanderings as we arrived at our hotel, located at what seemed to be a crossroads of streets and stores, stalls and marketplaces. Becky gave us our instructions for the next day and left us to settle in and explore. 

And explore we did. Becky described the street as a shopping Mecca but her description couldn’t even begin to prepare us for the sights, sounds and completely overwhelming sensory experience that was Up & Down Avenue. 

It felt like London’s Trafalgar Square,  Bangkok’s PatPong and  Istanbul’s Istiklal Avenue all rolled into one. Thousands upon thousands of people packed the shop lined streets . People laughed, talked and walked, while music blared and shopkeepers called people in on microphones that didn’t seem to be built with any sort of volume control. Clothing and household goods, socks, shoes, jewelry electronics, anything you wanted to buy seemed to be there, stacked and packed into store after store after store. And if you were hungry, and more than a wee bit brave, there was that too. Cantonese cuisine is not for the faint of stomach and it seemed all the parts of fish or fowl that you would not eat were battered, fried and skewered and served to eager passer’s-by who ate them eagerly from sticks. We steered past the squid, and into a children’s clothing store where tiny leopard printed coats hung beside beautiful little frocks. “ What size?” , a worker asked us in heavily accented english. “We’re not sure yet . We’ll know tomorrow”    and we continued down the street.

Journey to the East

Though we had been anxiously awaiting this day for so long, when Friday finally arrived it seemed to come too fast. We left at 4 a.m. to catch our flight to Vancouver, Todd on a few hours of sleep, me with none -- too excited and too anxious to rest.

Our travel agent from Ottawa had wisely booked us on an early flight, that way if the weather was poor and we were delayed that we wouldn’t miss our flight to Beijing. Despite the snow and a de-icing delay we quickly arrived in Vancouver to await the next , much longer leg of our adventure.
We sat next to an area cordoned off as Santa’s workshop, where a volunteer presumably would come to take photos with airport visitors. Since it was empty, Todd and I snuck in and took a picture on Santa’s chair, knowing exactly what we wanted for Christmas this year.

Later, as we wandered around the airport to stretch limbs that would be cramped into an airline seat for 12 hours, I happened to notice a lady that I had seen in Edmonton. I noticed her because she had been wearing a fabulous pair of boots, and as I passed her in the airport corridor I stopped her and told her how much I liked them. I was surprised when she immediately asked“ Are you going to Beijing ?” . “We are --are you?” Turns out, not only was she also headed to Beijing, but was also on her way to adopt a little girl. We invited her to join us and we sat down and connected quickly over our shared adventures. We learned that she and her husband live in Edmonton and are the parents of 5 ( and soon 6) children, 4 of whom are their own , their youngest , a boy adopted from China about a year and a half ago. Last year, when her husband asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she told him, and here they were again, on their second adoption journey. All the more admirable as she was making the trip alone while her husband remained at home with their children. She was friendly and funny and I completely admired her and we visited until we boarded the plane.

We settled into our seats and tried to arrange ourselves the best we could for the long flight ahead. I couldn’t help but remember when we took Grayson on his first international flight and as we walked through the front of the plane he said, “ I’ll take that one,” pointing to a first class seat. We told him that not only could he not call shotgun on a plane, but that we were going to the back of the plane, B class he called it. You’d never seen such a disappointed kid in your life.
Perhaps because our expectations of Air Canada were so low to begin with, it was a surprisingly tolerable flight - not the space pods the first class passengers were enjoying, but comfortable nonetheless. Also not surprisingly, the majority of the passengers were chinese. Every once in a while we’d hear a baby cry or see a little chinese toddler walk past and I couldn’t help but think , that, in just a couple of days we’d have a little chinese toddler of our own.

We literally flew through space and time -- China being roughly 15 hours ahead of us -- so it was late Saturday evening when we arrived. We grabbed our bags and boarded a train with a tangle of people to another part of the airport.

As we stood in line at customs I looked up and saw the bright red neon signs: marked Chinese Nationals on one side and Foreigners on another.. For a moment I felt a tinge of panic and doubt. Here we were, foreigners, to take home one of their Chinese nationals. I hope we made it through security.
My ridiculous fears, as usual, were unfounded. We were met by Joan, our Chinese guide arranged through Children’s Bridge, our agency and ‘midwife’ who has helped us navigate the bureaucratic gestation process that is International adoption. We loaded our bags into a van and headed off to our hotel.
As we began our descent into Beijing, the flight captain told us the temperature ( 5 degrees) and that there was a ‘light mist’. That light mist, as it turned out was a dense pungent smog that explained the bumpy landing that we had experienced. Visibility was difficult and traffic was as thick and heavy as the smoke so it was a combination of strategic driving, prayer and crossed fingers that got us safely to our hotel.

We were at the Crowne Plaza in WaiFuJing, an area that Todd and I had remembered from our first trip to China to see his parents during their missionary service. While he remembered the street, I remembered the sights and smells, of skewered bugs, squid and even scorpions along a bustling night market. It was good to be back.

We had booked a suite to give us a little extra room and to accommodate my unique sleeping circumstances for my old rheumatic bones. We were tired and hungry so ordered room service, a combination of chinese, thai and italian dishes, ate quickly and dropped into bed by 8.

" Organize Yourselves; Prepare Every Needful Thing"

The admonition to organize and prepare is as relevant now as when it was written 180 years ago. But as simple and essential as it seems, it's definitely easier said than done. I think it's because no matter how much we have tried, and every way we have worked to get things done, there seems to be ever so much left undone.

It has been one thing to prepare to fly to China, quite another to prepare to meet our little girl, and quite another to have it all happen around Christmas.

The problem is , that I suffer from Everythingitis -- where Everything seems important. But if everything is important, and all prioritized the same, essentially, nothing is important. A little of this and a little of that gets done but, no matter how much I would like it to be true, I can't quite finish it all.

But perhaps that's how it is supposed to be -- always leaving a little left to strive for as we work to learn and discern the things that are truly needful.

In the end, we have worked hard, prayed hard, and done our very best and, ready or not,

Here We Go!!

The Final Countdown

It's hard to believe we are finally here, counting down not months or weeks, but days until we leave for China to bring Maylia home. Todd would take this opportunity to play, or sing in his best Europe impression, "It's The Final Countdown" -- because, what better way to mark this event than with an 80's rock anthem.

But the song that resonated most with me today was the closing Christmas hymn we sang at church, the second verse in particular of With Wondering Awe:

By light of star they traveled far
To seek the lowly manger
A humble bed where-in was laid
The wondrous little Stranger

The Wondrous Little Stranger. I know we were singing of the Christ Child, but I couldn't help but think of sweet Maylia, asleep in her humble orphanage bed, a girl we have loved, lived for, prayed for and hoped for , for so long. Known to us in our hearts but a stranger nonetheless.

This friday, by light of star we'll travel far.

Maylia, we can't wait to meet you.