It's hard to believe that a month ago today we arrived home with Maylia. After being with her for a month, and being so at hem here, it's even harder to believe that she hasn't been with us for the past two + years.
As a rather unlikely way to celebrate this anniversary we had a visit to the International Adoption Clinic and a visit with a Social Worker. We went to the International Clinic as her first follow-up appointment, to assess where she's at developmentally and medically. We met with the Social Worker to see where she's at socially and emotionally.
At the international clinic we were able to meet with the same physician who had reviewed her file for us in May when we were first matched with Maylia. All the doctor had to go from then was Maylia's (translated) Chinese medical file and 3 photographs. At that time her assessment raised a couple of questions, but mostly calmed our concerns as some of the tests she looked at indicated better results than first thought.
Today's news was even better. Though Maylia was pretty upset and angry during the appointment, both we and the doctor were happy to see how well she has been doing. Although she will still be referred to get an EKG (to check for the initially diagnosed hole in her heart) the doctor told us that had it not been listed other file, she would never had even thought there was a heart problem. Not only was she growing, but her developmental percentile measurements were consistent ( i.e.. 20th percentile for height, weight and head circumference) -- a very healthy indicator. As we told the doctor about her eating and sleeping patterns, she was amazed how well Maylia seemed to be doing for only a month. We received a bunch of requisitions for blood work, stool and urine samples ( things Todd doesn't pay me enough to collect ) so we still have a ways to go before she's declared out of the woods but so far we have an incredibly happy, incredibly healthy, 2 yr old girl. Amazing.
The next appointment at the clinic was with the OT where things went from great to better than great. By this time Maylia was back to her happy self ( to be fair, the doctor was trying to examine her at nap time) and with the OT, well, all we really have to do is play.
With the doctor Maylia screamed and screamed and screamed - took a breath - and screamed some more. By the second appointment the second wind had kicked in and there were balls and books and bottles with lids, her favourite. She performed every test and task with relative ease, and between those -- she just performed. Would you believe on the play mat Maylia began to do somersaults. Seriously. Somersaults. In a fit of giggles as she flipped over on to her back. Our other kids are blessed with talents and intelligence -- but I'm pretty sure none of them can do a somersault . The OT checked her fine motor and and her gross motor skills. 'Can she run?' ( Sometimes faster than she has strength). 'Can she hop?' (we performed her favourite sleeping bunnies song'). 'Can she throw?'( Our problem is to get her to stop throwing.) Yes, she can definitely throw. Over an hour later -- three hours total with both appointments -- we were discharged with high marks from both assessments with a plan to return in a couple of months time.
The evening included a visit from a Social Worker, from Adoption Options, the agency that had helped us complete our home study. Anyone who adopts internationally is required to complete "Post-Placement Reports" -- formal assessments to see how a child is transitioning. Different countries have different requirements. China requires 5 -- at 1 month, 6 months, a year, 3 years and 5 years. I should have known better than to suppose that once the adoption is completed that reports and paperwork were finished as well. More questions, more forms and another 15 page document. As I've said before, adoption - especially international adoption - is not for the faint of heart. But this is what we signed up for and a few forms is a very small price to pay for the gift we get in Maylia.
The Social Worker asked many of the same questions we had addressed earlier that day. Like the doctor and the OT she too was amazed and impressed at how well Maylia seemed to be doing and how smoothly her transition was going . She didn't have to ask how well Maylia could throw ( Maylia demonstrated) , if she was happy ( Maylia giggled continuously) or how her fine and gross motor skills were as, almost on cue, Maylia began doing somersaults on the floor. It was Operation Shock and Awe.
Some might argue that in going from an orphanage to the Shipley home Maylia has merely moved from one Institution to another. Either way this incredible little girl seems to be not just surviving, but genuinely thriving in this little home, amongst this odd little family. Sure, we have our flaws, and our skeletons have their closets. Our dysfunction and failures often out weigh the times we function and succeed. But charity never faileth and the love we have and hold for her more than makes up for our many Shipley shortcomings.
Monday, January 20, 2014
No Place Like Home
She's at her most happy while eating or in the bath
She's at her most cantankerous when going down for her nap or at bedtime
She's at her most charming when she's teasing her Daddy or her brothers
She's at her most fun when playing with her sister
She's at her most hilarious when she knows she has an audience watching
She's at her most content -- when she's here.
There's no place like home
She's at her most cantankerous when going down for her nap or at bedtime
She's at her most charming when she's teasing her Daddy or her brothers
She's at her most fun when playing with her sister
She's at her most hilarious when she knows she has an audience watching
She's at her most content -- when she's here.
There's no place like home
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Friday, December 20 - Tender Mercies
If you just looked at our clocks, this was a delightfully brief voyage -- we departed Beijing at 6:30p.m. on Friday and arrived on our Edmonton doorstep Friday night at 8. Funny how an hour and a half can feel like 22 hours.
But despite the time, the trouble, and Maylia's seatbelt trauma we had experienced a 'multitude of tender mercies' , to borrow a phrase from Lehi.
So stressed and anxious about the trip home, through my prayers and desperation I had decided to fast before we left Beijing-- as much as our circumstances permitted it. It's not that the Lord wouldn't have answered my prayers only, but I knew through experience that fasting as well as praying would allow me to more easily recognize and respond to the Spirits promptings and to feel His assurances more keenly. Like fine tuning a radio dial to zero in on a signal.
I prayed for those assurances and those assurances came -- though not in the way that I expected.
At the last General Conference Elder David Bednar spoke about the 'significant but subtle blessings that come as we pay the law of tithing' - that though we might not get exactly what we pray for, the Lord gives us exactly what we need:
" Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience."
Like the payment of tithing, my fast was a small but significant sacrifice that the Lord blessed me for. But instead of an easy trip or a content 2 year old, he gave me kind and patient fellow travellers -- even as they were wiping the salad from them. He gave me a husband who provided endless assistance and sound advice who could calmly state 'if she cries she cries, who cares what people think' -- putting things quickly into perspective. He gave me the ability to creatively entertain Maylia when she was awake, the endurance to hold and rock her when she was asleep or carry her throughout a busy airport. He gave us competent officials, a delayed flight -- and did I mention the cutest, most incredible, feisty, funny two year old? Too many tender mercies to count. And all in an hour and a half.
We were blessed indeed.
But despite the time, the trouble, and Maylia's seatbelt trauma we had experienced a 'multitude of tender mercies' , to borrow a phrase from Lehi.
So stressed and anxious about the trip home, through my prayers and desperation I had decided to fast before we left Beijing-- as much as our circumstances permitted it. It's not that the Lord wouldn't have answered my prayers only, but I knew through experience that fasting as well as praying would allow me to more easily recognize and respond to the Spirits promptings and to feel His assurances more keenly. Like fine tuning a radio dial to zero in on a signal.
I prayed for those assurances and those assurances came -- though not in the way that I expected.
At the last General Conference Elder David Bednar spoke about the 'significant but subtle blessings that come as we pay the law of tithing' - that though we might not get exactly what we pray for, the Lord gives us exactly what we need:
" Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience."
Like the payment of tithing, my fast was a small but significant sacrifice that the Lord blessed me for. But instead of an easy trip or a content 2 year old, he gave me kind and patient fellow travellers -- even as they were wiping the salad from them. He gave me a husband who provided endless assistance and sound advice who could calmly state 'if she cries she cries, who cares what people think' -- putting things quickly into perspective. He gave me the ability to creatively entertain Maylia when she was awake, the endurance to hold and rock her when she was asleep or carry her throughout a busy airport. He gave us competent officials, a delayed flight -- and did I mention the cutest, most incredible, feisty, funny two year old? Too many tender mercies to count. And all in an hour and a half.
We were blessed indeed.
Friday, December 20 -- Welcome To Canada
Because Vancouver was our first touchdown point in Canada, we would have to report to customs and then to immigration there. Despite the extra expense, we had opted for a Friday flight, mostly because it gave us a two hour layover in Vancouver rather than a 9 hour one we would have had had we booked a flight on Saturday.
But because Vancouver was experiencing some severe weather, causing the delays and cancellation of hundreds of flights, we were worried we wouldn't make our connection to Edmonton. Not only were we delayed in taking off, the weather caused us to wait an extra half an hour on the ground while they cleared our gate of ice and snow. The gods were testing me.
We finally disembarked , got through our first customs point, found our bags and moved onto immigration. We were thrilled to bypass the student and work-visa line and arrive first at the desk indicating 'New Immigrants To Canada'. The man there was extremely friendly and helpful but his job was more 'Welcome Wagon' than any official capacity as he orientated us to what we would need to do and apply for once we returned to Alberta. We in fact did have to go back to the line-up of students and temporary foreign workers and meet with an immigration officer there.
We told the man how soon our next flight was leaving and he said he would try to get us to the front of the line. " It kind of depends on what mood they're in", he whispered.
I looked over at the two stern faced immigration officers. They made Todd look like a ray of sunshine.
There's an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine finds herself on the subway during rush hour delays and power outages. As she stands between unsavoury sorts, desperately wanting to get where she's going, the viewer is treated to the inner dialogue of her mind. The fun and the funny come as you listen to her go from yoga chanting life affirming mantras, to bleeped out , full on screaming in her head. I was experiencing a little of that at that moment. I won't tell you which bit.
We waited.And Waited. And Waited. Until gratefully it was our turn. Credit again to the Chinese and to Children's Bridge as our documents processed without a hitch.
We grabbed our bags and ran as fast as we could, hoping to make it to our gate. Then deadlock. With so many cancelled and delayed flights there was a bottle neck both exiting the customs / baggage area and going through the next security checkpoint. Why they had only one -- ONE -- security screen for the hundreds of transiting passengers was beyond us. Cue more screaming inside my head.
This entire time Maylia had been extraordinarily good tempered but was getting pretty icky. We hadn't wanted to stop at all until we reached our gate, so she had been marinating in her diaper for a while . It was quickly developing a sponge-like consistency and would seep every time she would shift in my arms. I was getting pretty icky too.
While in line we had heard that our flight had been delayed and we made an Amazing Race like dash to our gate after the snail-like pace of the security check point.
10 minutes until boarding time -- enough time for a change.
One more tearful seatbelt wrestle with one more flight -- a mercifully short one this time. And once she was able to leave her seat she fell asleep in my arms and I kept her there until we landed.
No Customs this time. No security or immigration. Just grab our bags and go.
I've never been so thankful to see snow covered streets in my life.
But because Vancouver was experiencing some severe weather, causing the delays and cancellation of hundreds of flights, we were worried we wouldn't make our connection to Edmonton. Not only were we delayed in taking off, the weather caused us to wait an extra half an hour on the ground while they cleared our gate of ice and snow. The gods were testing me.
We finally disembarked , got through our first customs point, found our bags and moved onto immigration. We were thrilled to bypass the student and work-visa line and arrive first at the desk indicating 'New Immigrants To Canada'. The man there was extremely friendly and helpful but his job was more 'Welcome Wagon' than any official capacity as he orientated us to what we would need to do and apply for once we returned to Alberta. We in fact did have to go back to the line-up of students and temporary foreign workers and meet with an immigration officer there.
We told the man how soon our next flight was leaving and he said he would try to get us to the front of the line. " It kind of depends on what mood they're in", he whispered.
I looked over at the two stern faced immigration officers. They made Todd look like a ray of sunshine.
There's an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine finds herself on the subway during rush hour delays and power outages. As she stands between unsavoury sorts, desperately wanting to get where she's going, the viewer is treated to the inner dialogue of her mind. The fun and the funny come as you listen to her go from yoga chanting life affirming mantras, to bleeped out , full on screaming in her head. I was experiencing a little of that at that moment. I won't tell you which bit.
We waited.And Waited. And Waited. Until gratefully it was our turn. Credit again to the Chinese and to Children's Bridge as our documents processed without a hitch.
We grabbed our bags and ran as fast as we could, hoping to make it to our gate. Then deadlock. With so many cancelled and delayed flights there was a bottle neck both exiting the customs / baggage area and going through the next security checkpoint. Why they had only one -- ONE -- security screen for the hundreds of transiting passengers was beyond us. Cue more screaming inside my head.
This entire time Maylia had been extraordinarily good tempered but was getting pretty icky. We hadn't wanted to stop at all until we reached our gate, so she had been marinating in her diaper for a while . It was quickly developing a sponge-like consistency and would seep every time she would shift in my arms. I was getting pretty icky too.
While in line we had heard that our flight had been delayed and we made an Amazing Race like dash to our gate after the snail-like pace of the security check point.
10 minutes until boarding time -- enough time for a change.
One more tearful seatbelt wrestle with one more flight -- a mercifully short one this time. And once she was able to leave her seat she fell asleep in my arms and I kept her there until we landed.
No Customs this time. No security or immigration. Just grab our bags and go.
I've never been so thankful to see snow covered streets in my life.
Friday, December 20 -- Journey To The West
The 5 years it took to adopt a child felt like an eternity.
Our 12 hour flight from Beijing to Vancouver felt infinitely longer.
As excited as I was to get home, I had been dreading this flight for much longer than we had been in China. Before we left Edmonton I had come across a news article that had identified a list of 'Airplane Don'ts For Travelers'. Two and a half hours into our flight we had committed most of them. Tantrums, screaming, kicking the seat in front of us, and during our mid-flight meal: tossing a container of salad -- which opened and dumped its contents -- into the seats ( and onto the occupants) in front of us.
Now I had never been under any illusions that this flight would be easy. Whenever I listened to a child upset on an airplane or heard of a parent's difficult air travel experience I always felt great sympathy for them.
Now I felt empathy.
The biggest challenge for us was the seatbelt. No car seats in China meant that she always traveled on our laps. And to facilitate her eating we also kept her on our laps during mealtimes so her experiences of sitting independently were extremely limited. As we boarded the plane in Beijing and sat in our seats with her between us we tried to lure her into her own chair. I was just anxious to get going and get it over with but we were delayed on the ground for almost an hour so she was already extremely restless when we tried to wrestle her into her seat. It took two of us to pin her down and we held her, screaming until we finally took off. After about 15-20 minutes ( considerably longer for those sitting around us) she wore herself out and, to her credit, resigned herself to her confinement. Boy was she mad.
When the seatbelt light finally switched off she literally leapt onto my lap and stayed there, tossing, turning, twisting, jumping, kicking, straining until mealtime where she actually sat in her seat again for at least a little while. After the food flinging incident I kept her as close to me as possible, trying to avoid eye contact with the family in front of us. Let's just say it would have been a lot easier for us if the little family of three -- cute couple with an even cuter baby -- weren't so darn charming and perfect. That baby hardly peeped the entire flight as if we didn't look bad enough already.
I confess to being secretly relieved when I'd hear another child crying somewhere on the plane.
Deep down I'm a very shallow person.
By 9 we were hoping she'd go to sleep and it took a few more tears, a lot of tossing, twisting and turning before she finally settled down. Mercifully she slept for about 5 hours -- fitfully -- but slept nonetheless. She awoke in good spirits for breakfast and I've never been so grateful for airplane food in my life -- they served congee.
Nearly 12 hours later we were back to where we started, wrestling her into her seat and belt.
Tantrum, tears, then finally, touch down.
Our 12 hour flight from Beijing to Vancouver felt infinitely longer.
As excited as I was to get home, I had been dreading this flight for much longer than we had been in China. Before we left Edmonton I had come across a news article that had identified a list of 'Airplane Don'ts For Travelers'. Two and a half hours into our flight we had committed most of them. Tantrums, screaming, kicking the seat in front of us, and during our mid-flight meal: tossing a container of salad -- which opened and dumped its contents -- into the seats ( and onto the occupants) in front of us.
Now I had never been under any illusions that this flight would be easy. Whenever I listened to a child upset on an airplane or heard of a parent's difficult air travel experience I always felt great sympathy for them.
Now I felt empathy.
The biggest challenge for us was the seatbelt. No car seats in China meant that she always traveled on our laps. And to facilitate her eating we also kept her on our laps during mealtimes so her experiences of sitting independently were extremely limited. As we boarded the plane in Beijing and sat in our seats with her between us we tried to lure her into her own chair. I was just anxious to get going and get it over with but we were delayed on the ground for almost an hour so she was already extremely restless when we tried to wrestle her into her seat. It took two of us to pin her down and we held her, screaming until we finally took off. After about 15-20 minutes ( considerably longer for those sitting around us) she wore herself out and, to her credit, resigned herself to her confinement. Boy was she mad.
When the seatbelt light finally switched off she literally leapt onto my lap and stayed there, tossing, turning, twisting, jumping, kicking, straining until mealtime where she actually sat in her seat again for at least a little while. After the food flinging incident I kept her as close to me as possible, trying to avoid eye contact with the family in front of us. Let's just say it would have been a lot easier for us if the little family of three -- cute couple with an even cuter baby -- weren't so darn charming and perfect. That baby hardly peeped the entire flight as if we didn't look bad enough already.
I confess to being secretly relieved when I'd hear another child crying somewhere on the plane.
Deep down I'm a very shallow person.
By 9 we were hoping she'd go to sleep and it took a few more tears, a lot of tossing, twisting and turning before she finally settled down. Mercifully she slept for about 5 hours -- fitfully -- but slept nonetheless. She awoke in good spirits for breakfast and I've never been so grateful for airplane food in my life -- they served congee.
Nearly 12 hours later we were back to where we started, wrestling her into her seat and belt.
Tantrum, tears, then finally, touch down.
Thursday, December 19 -- Duck Dynasty
We knew we were going out for Peking duck but didn’t realize what a gastronomical adventure we would be enjoying.
We walked to the restaurant as it was just a couple of blocks from our hotel. It was an older building but we could see from the outside that the place was packed. We went in and were led to a large round table covered in plates and glassware, no plastic ikea cutlery in sight. They brought us a baby chair but we weren’t sure how Maylia would do as she had always resisted sitting anywhere but my lap. We formed a plan and appealed to her always eager appetite -- placing some goldfish snacks on the tray before we put her in. She was definitely nervous and began to reach and whine but we smiled and talked to her and I kept as close to her as I could. Not only had she not argued when we put her mittens on earlier but now she was now sitting quite happily in a high chair. Another milestone reached.
Joan took the encyclopedic-like menu and went over it with one of the waiters. As she ordered most everything on her own without really asking us any preferences I was admittedly a little nervous. Moments later they brought us a bowl of petite mandarin oranges dramatically nestled on top of a bowl of dry ice, and, not a few moments after that, our dishes began to arrive. There was a colourful combination of vegetable and meat dishes -- chicken with peanuts and chilies, sauteed lettuce, corn with chopped red and green peppers, and a heaping bowl of black things that looked like a fungus and tasted like a pickled rubber mushroom. It actually felt squeaky when you bit into it. The main dishes were the noodles and the Peking duck, both special dishes here in Beijing. They brought out our duck already sliced though at most of the other tables a chef carved the duck right at the table. The duck was presented with portioned plates for each person with a mixture of vegetables, sauces, and spices. Small round shells, (think of a tortilla made from a wonton wrapper) sat in a bamboo steamer and you would take one on to your plate and then fill it, fajita style, with whatever customized combination your palate preferred. The noodles were the same way -- served plain but accompanied by a a personal plate of more sauces and vegetables.
The dinner was absolutely delicious but we were even more pleased with Maylia who sat quite contentedly in her chair while eating rice and corn from a wooden bowl they had brought her. As we had had only one utensil thrown across the table, and neither Todd nor I had ended up covered in food, for us the night felt like a quacking success.
Thursday, December 19 -- Shopping on Silk Street
This was it. Our last day in Beijing. Our last day in China for that matter. It was good to be at the end though at the same time, hard to believe all that had happened in the past 2 weeks. Two weeks ago we didn’t even really know who this little girl was and what she was about and now could not even begin to imagine life without her --or that we were were without her she seemed so ingrained in us already. I’ve had to laugh as more than a few times this week Todd keeps calling her Sophia. You know she’s a natural part of the family when she’s already getting mixed up with other kids’ names.
There was nothing formal or official on today’s schedule. Most of the other families from Canada we had met were going home today and we wondered why our flights hadn’t been scheduled until Friday. We presumed it was to allow an extra day just in case the Canadian Embassy took longer to process Maylia’s Visa. Thankfully it had come through so today was simply fun -- shopping at Silk Street and Peking Duck for dinner.
Joan met us down in the lobby along with the S and their sweet daughter L. It was interesting to see how well both girls seemed to match their families. The S’s are kind, calm -- simply lovely people. They have been such a pleasure to get to know and we hope we can keep connected in the future. Their daughter too is quiet, sweet (though they’ve said she’s also had her share of tears and tantrums )a lovely, lovely girl of 15 months. We walked past them as they too were having dinner at the buffet restaurant the other night. L sat in her highchair, not a lick of food on her tray or on the table. I asked J how she managed to keep her so clean and she said they fed her a little at a time and that she ate everything they gave her. There is something almost unreal about that level of perfection.
Contrast that with our experience in the dining room. We have rubber bibs and sippy cups, napkins on our laps and ones laid out on the table, with the wait staff having extras at the ready. We go through multiple baby wipes, not to mention utensils and side bends and we try to swoop down and pick up what’s been dropped. Because I am still serving as the baby chair she and I are both accessorized with slops and spills by the end of the meal. Simply put we are a disaster and I feel like we should tip the laundry workers as well as the wait staff following our feast.
Maylia too has morphed quickly from still and silent to precocious and playful. She can laugh as loud as she screams and loves to tease as well as to talk. How were we so lucky to get this girl.
After meeting downstairs we loaded into the van and headed off to Silk Street. Todd and I had visited Silk Street once before with his parents. It was paradise for a clothing coveter like myself. Many of the things I dared only enjoy from magazines were fond in Silk Street at prices lower than I could find at a second hand shop. Sure, some of the items were knock-offs, made to look the same with Chinese labels but they were beautifully made nonetheless and what we found more often than not, were that many of the items were from past seasons, still trendy but a couple of years old. Some even had slight flaws -- Years ago I had purchased a Burberry trench coat for 15 dollars whose button holes were too close to the edge of the lapel. Not a big deal as far as how it looks or wears, but a tremendous deal as far as the price -- a coat that would retail for about $800. So, needless to say, I was a more than a little excited to see what they had in store. We had heard that they ( whoever ‘they’ were) were cracking down on counterfeit goods so we weren’t sure what to expect. We entered the complex, looked at the directory and pledged to meet back in two hours -- only 8 hours less than I would have liked to have spent there. As we walked through the halls past various small stores -- packed full of stock and side by side each other -- we were called to by every, single shop owner -- “ Do you want to buy a t-shirt, a sweater, I have handbags at special price.” Ah yes, the special price, only for you. That was a favourite phrase.
We walked through to get a sense of the place. Each level or section was organized into shoes or clothes or handbags, ties, scarves or textiles. Once we saw the products we were interested in, the next step was to get a sense of their prices -- both what they were asking for as well as what they were willing to come down to. Once you got that, you had a number to take with you to the next place you were looking at, a number that was reasonable for both sides. We definitely wanted a good price -- we wanted a great one in fact, but as Todd said, we weren’t going to grind them down over a few dollars. Where much is given much is required and for all we enjoyed in our abundantly blessed western lives, we could happily afford to give them an extra 5 or 10 bucks -- especially when we were saving sometimes hundreds.
We stopped at a handbag store first and looked at some beautiful brand name bags. The clerk promised us ‘special price’ and punched a number into a calculator.
Mexico, Turkey, Thailand or China, they ALL have a calculator. I can never calculate Yuan to dollars fast enough but I knew enough to know that she was asking a ridiculous price -- she was testing us too. Todd quickly laughed and asked her to give us her best price. They always ask us for what we are willing to pay and Todd gave a number. She countered back and that went on for a couple of minutes before Todd said to walk away. As we did she called out another number, then a lower one, then a lower one. “ You see,” Todd said, now we know what her base is and what we can ask for at any other shop. She had a number of great bags and I said we’d come back -- knowing full well that nearly the same products and prices would be at 20 other stores.
We continued to wander in and out of shops and found a couple more we’d liked but did end up going back to that first shop. Todd went up to the girl and said, “for you, special price” and gave her a number. That disarmed her, she laughed and shook her head and put the handbag we wanted into a shopping bag. “ You broke my heart with that price” she said. “ You broke my wallet” Todd replied. She laughed again and we both left happy. She still made a lot of money and we saved even more. We paid less than $15 dollars for a beautiful leather bag.
The exchange between Todd and the clerks carried on at a few more stores, whether it was clothing, ties or handbags. They would try to talk and plead with me, and I would tell them that my husband was the bank and they need to talk to him . He was also the best bargainer. Frankly I hated bargaining and was no good at it. Todd had turned it into both a science and an art. I suppose we were a good team -- I would try on and gush over the goods so the store clerks would think they had an easy sale. Then I would step away while Todd teased them and went toe to toe with their sales pitch , counteract and catch them off guard by saying “Here is my special price” and he would stick to his amount until they met it. If they didn’t, we would walk away but they would never let us get very far before they called us back and begrudgingly took his money. “ You are very hard” one girl said. “ And your wife and baby are so nice.” Todd only smiled, pointed to me and Maylia and said, “ My wife is nice, my daughter is nice, but I ( pointing to his chest) have a teeny teeny heart!” He was both charming and cheap. There was a reason at the conclusion of our shopping spree our guide Joan said, : “My favourite part was watching Todd bargain!”
At the end of the two hours we , or should I say I, had come out very well with some lovely clothes and a couple of great bags. Other than a few ties most of the items purchased were for me or Maylia. And I have to say, I do love a husband who, when we came home and we laid the things on the bed, he smiled proudly and said, “we did very well” -- when hardly any of it was for him. He was just as happy to have gotten the things for his girls as he would have been to buy for himself.
Sorry ladies, he’s taken.
We returned home for Maylia’s nap and so we could begin to pack and prepare to meet Joan and the S’s for dinner later that evening.
Wednesday, December 18 -- A Tour of Tiananmen and the Forbidden City
Because Maylia seemed to be feeling much better and her cough had greatly improved we looked forward to spending the day with Joan and the S family. When we had run into them the day before they confirmed that their day at the Wall had been difficult. It was incredibly cold, the steps incredibly steep and their daughter had cried nearly the entire time. We were relieved we had chosen to stay home.Today’s tour would still be cold but definitely easier than a climb to the Wall.
The last time Todd and I had been to the Forbidden City a number of the pavilions had been under construction. It was the year before the Beijing Olympics and they were renovating and readying every facility for the influx of international visitors that would surely come. So we were looking forward to seeing it again, a little less encumbered.
Both places were surprisingly close to our hotel -- not a ten minute drive away. Our first stop was at Tiananmen Square, located just outside of the Forbidden City. Tiananmen Square was named after the Tiananmen Gate located on the north side, and originally built in 1415 as the Gate to the Forbidden City. It was since expanded and is now one of the largest city squares in the world and the site of a number of important events in Chinese History. To most of the world it’s most notoriously known for the uprisings that occurred there in the late 80’s. I still remember the image shown on t.v. of the man in the white shirt standing boldly in front of a line of tanks, during a time when hundreds if not thousands of protesters were killed.
There are still hundreds of thousands of people there but instead of a place of protest it is a place of pride. We were amazed when we visited in 2007 and just as amazed now that the majority of tourists to Tiananmen are Chinese. They come mostly in groups, wearing bright matching caps with their guide carrying a tall flag. We were in a group too, but were distinguished by blankets and babies rather than hats and flags. We were conspicuous enough -- the postcard hawkers all seemed to zero in on us, but we also would get looks of surprise and shock when they saw us carrying little Chinese children. People would look down at the kids and then look at us and then talk to one another in Chinese. What I wouldn’t do for the gift of tongues.
I asked Becky a few days earlier what she thought of what other Chinese people thought about us adopting one of their children -- wanting their unwanted. She said that though some would be concerned and think it wasn’t right, that most people would be pleased, even surprised that we would want another child, particularly one with special needs. Because Maylia didn’t appear to have any physical difficulties not to mention being so ridiculously cute, I was sure that they thought we had stolen her -- especially when she cried in public. Todd once again reassured me with an eye roll, a shake of his head and a reminder of how crazy I was. I reminded him that of course I was crazy, and would have to be to remain married to him for this long.
We took a number of photos around the square and then walked across the street and through another security checkpoint to enter into the Forbidden City.
The Forbidden City is really quite and extraordinary place. What may simply look as a series of buildings and courtyards are the grounds of an extensive Imperial Palace dating back to the 1400’s.
Wikipedia describes it simply and best:
The Forbidden City was the Chinese imperial palace from the Ming Dynasty to the end of the Qing Dynasty. It is located in the centre of Beijing, China, and now houses the Palace Museum. For almost 500 years, it served as the home of emperors and their households, as well as the ceremonial and political center of Chinese government.
Built in 1406 to 1420, the complex consists of 980 buildings and covers 720,000 m2 (7,800,000 sq ft).[1] The palace complex exemplifies traditional Chinese palatial architecture,[2] and has influenced cultural and architectural developments in East Asia and elsewhere. The Forbidden City was declared a World Heritage Site in 1987,[2] and is listed by UNESCO as the largest collection of preserved ancient wooden structures in the world.
Definitely not something to sneeze at.
The weather was getting colder and the wind picking up -- thankfully we had been able to get not just her hood on but her mittens as well -- albeit through some tears and screams. I think it was cold enough -- and she was numb enough -- that she stopped resisting after a while for which we were grateful . The buildings are extraordinary -- it’s hard to believe how many hundreds of years old they are. Its also hard to believe that for the Imperial Family and those who lived there, this was all of Beijing they ever knew, never venturing beyond the city walls. That said, there was no getting bored with the number of buildings to explore, not to mention, some of the best building names ever. Some of my favourites include The Pavilion of Prolonged Sunshine, The Palace of Gathering Essence, The Palace of Supporting Longevity, Hall of Temper Cultivation,
The Hall for Respect & Thinking, and, my personal favourite, The Pavilion of Literary Profundity. A building by any other name wouldn’t be near as much fun.
As much as we were enjoying the tour, that made only two of us. Maylia was getting more tired, cold and hungry by the moment and there was only so many goldfish that could keep her happy. After about an hour and a half and a bit of a nap we reached the other side of the city where our driver met us and taxied us back to the hotel.
Lunch was good and a a late afternoon nap was better. When she woke up we met Joan downstairs to pick up the last of the paperwork that had been issued from the Canadian Embassy. Maylai was official, and we were officially good to go...but not for one more day. It will be a light day tomorrow. A little shopping and then supper together with our group -- Peking Duck I think.
I was looking forward to to our last day, looking forward even more to going home.
Tuesday, December 17 -- Adventure Around Town + some Ghastly Gastronomics
Today was a down day for us. Although we were scheduled to visit the Great Wall, because Maylia was still feeling poorly and refused to wear her winter gear, we felt it was best to keep her in for at least most of the day. Todd and I had also been fortunate enough to see The Great Wall on our first visit to China. We had seen Mutainyu, the section with a cable car to the top and an alpine slide to the bottom. The section of the wall they were visiting today was a smaller, much steeper section and, from what we had seen, it was a challenging climb for anyone, let alone while trying to carry a squirming toddler so we were more than happy to stay close to home.
We spent most of the day indoors, but by the late afternoon we were ready to venture out. Now there are a number of milestones we have already missed in Maylia’s little life: Her first smile, her first tooth, when she rolled over, sat up or took her first step. So we have celebrated milestones of a different sort. Today when we went outside and bundled her up in her coat it was the first time we had gotten her to keep her hood on without screaming. We took a photo and cheered. That was a major milestone for us . We couldn’t get gloves on yet but it was all about baby steps.
We headed down to Wangfujing, along with hundreds of other people and braved our way across roads, through a crazy maze of foot and street traffic. The place we were heading for was a market we had had only a glimpse of on our first day here: a place that Grayson was dying to explore, the crazy food market. The one where we had seen the scorpions and starfish on sticks. We were thrilled to discover that scorpions and starfish were only the beginning. We exited Wangfujing down a long alley way . Bright red and gold lanterns hung overhead illuminating a path lined with hundreds of stalls and teeming with people. Shopkeepers sang and shouted while others played musical instruments. Most were dressed for the weather and wore Chairman Mao caps on their heads . Some were wearing Imperial style costumes but my favourite are always the traditional chinese silk caps with the black tassels.
As we entered the street, though it was definitely a feast for the senses, there was very little there I would have dared to feast on -- though we were clearly in the minority. Most people had come here for the food and were eating creatures from sticks that looked more alive than deep fried. Over in the stalls were bamboo skewers of varying lengths and thicknesses threaded with whole squid, lengths of grubs even spatchcocked lizards. If those weren’t eerie enough, bald barbecued baby birds stared out from the counters until they were thrust into our faces by shopkeepers hoping for a sale. It was a whole different kind of Kentucky Fried Chicken. There were piles of noodles and plates of steamed dumplings. Boiling and steaming drinks in a neon rainbow of colours. Some meat was being grilled on upright spits like the donairs in Turkey, giant snails and lengths of sea cucumber. There were sweets too. Piles of colourfully wrapped candy, blocks of nuts and seeds held together like a brittle. There were elaborate lollipops -- threads of hardened sugar that had been drawn and spun into beautiful designs. My favourite though were the skewered fruit, covered in a coat of shiny sugar syrup that had hardened like a candy apple.
After the food stalls we found ourselves in the ultimate dollar store with every possible trinket ...from every possible country. It was funny to see African and Mayan masks amongst the Chairman Mao playing cards and “ handmade marble” Great wall replicas. Apparently all the “original artifacts” we had purchased on all of our other travels were all being bought and sold right here in Wangfujing street. We did buy a few things -- I mean who can resist a set of playing cards with the theme of “ China’s Treacherous Court Officials” ? At the next food market we finally treated ourselves to something to eat -- though we weren’t very brave. We indulged in donair styled meat ( spicy & delicious) and some skewered sugared strawberries ( crunchy, sweet and equally delicious).
Since Maylia had refused to put on her mittens we decided to head home and finish with a meal at the buffet. This seems to be Maylia’s favourite time. We sit in a booth and I help her on with her rubber bib -- styled a bit like a training bra. Though we definitely are in training of sorts. We push everything else on the table away, lay out a cloth napkin and with a fork and spoon in each had, wait for Daddy to serve us. ( Let’s be honest, this is my favourite time too.) Todd comes by shortly thereafter with a plate of noodles or pasta, cuts it into pieces and Maylia gets to work. Sometimes I can feed her a few bites but she is more and more independent -- except when it comes to seating, she still eats her entire meal while sitting in my lap. Baby steps. Todd brings my food next then a plate for himself and we enjoy a meal together -- no prep, no dishes, just enjoy a meal. This is the life.
Monday, December 16 -- The Waiting Room and A Waiting Game
As much as it’s hard to believe that we’ve had Maylia with us for a week, in some ways it’s even harder to believe that she hasn’t always been part of our family. We feel so comfortable together and feel that we intuitively know her and instinctively love her. The fact that she’s ridiculously cute, precocious and a shameless flirt with her father doesn’t hurt either!
Today we headed out as a group to the International SOS clinic. Canadian Visa applications require a medical check-up before you can submit your application so we stopped by the clinic to ( hopefully) give Maylia the clearance she needed to come to Canada.
The clinic wasn’t far and, as we waited in the children’s play/waiting area, a number of other adoptive families came in, presumably to do the same thing we were. We learned they were all Canadian too -- from Montreal. There were 4 new daughters and one new son -- all the first children in their families.
I have often bemoaned the length of time it has taken for us to adopt -- the weeks and months of years of waiting, but speaking to these families today put a quick end to my complaints. Most of these families had been waiting for 7 years...and one of them had been waiting for 8. The reason was that all of them had applied under the regular China program -- healthy infant adoption with no special needs ( at least none that have yet to be identified).
Once again Todd and I considered our luck and counted our blessings. Even though we began our adoption application 5 years ago, it was only 2 and 1/2 years if we looked just at the China portion of our application ( we were originally trying to adopt from Thailand when we started 5 years ago). And even though we had adopted as part of the Waiting Child program -- which places older children with correctible medical needs -- here we have this little girl which, for all intents and purposes seems to have very little if any health problems whatsoever ( more on those later).
The other thing to consider too is, that even if the physical challenges are identified, there might be a number of cognitive or challenges that aren’t. We learned that with Steele. If we were to categorize him he would have been under a healthy infant adoption -- because the Autism would not have been known until much later.
But what we also learned from Steele , and much more importantly, is that, special needs does not identify a deficiency or weakness. In fact, quite the opposite. The parlance of the day often makes critical reference to the word ‘special’ but truly there is something exceptional, unique, even remarkable about these kids who have been blessed with these challenges. Surely God has given them weaknesses as defined by the standards of our day. But it is more than just through His mercy that he has compensated them with extraordinary gifts and abilities that go far beyond the challenges they have.
Like the scripture in Ether says: And if men come unto me I will show unto them their aweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.
Aside from the blessing of these unique children, Todd and I feel also blessed for what these kids require of us as parents. We are far better parents than we would be if we had children with lesser challenges. We too have been compelled to be humble as we’ve had to rely on the Lord and on each other to meet these challenges.
We have always taught Steele to be proud of his Autism and to never be ashamed to identify himself by it. One of my favourite Steele moments was when he came home from school one day and told us that he had been learning about Autism in class.
“ It’s part of the way the brain works,” he said as he told us a few more details about the class discussion. “But do you know what the best news is?” he exclaimed as he raised his hands in the air, “there’s no known cure!”
Now that’s what I call Awe-tism.
Maylia, though she has a couple of small medical issues, will also face some difficulties as she grows up as she understands more and more about her adoption, and what that means. She will have to forge her identity both in spite of but more especially because of being adopted. I hope we can teach her too that her ‘special need’ is what makes her special indeed. That her adoption is both a gift and a blessing.
Sunday, December 15 -- The Spirit of Christmas
She slept fitfully, coughing and wheezing so much it was hard to rest. When she woke up, still coughing and congested, we decided it was best to stay in for the evening. Since it was Sunday here we decided to watch last weeks First Presidency Christmas broadcast. I was looking forward to it. For the past week I had been feeling surprisingly homesick. I love traveling and taking adventures away. Especially knowing that everything and everyone is being so well taken care of at home, there’s nothing I love more than to experience the wonder of wandering in a new country and culture. But for some reason this felt different. Of course we were here under entirely different circumstances than previous trips , but everyday I seemed to wish for and want to be home -- to have her home, to begin our routine and life with a house of six. I also missed Christmas -- the snow, the excitement of our kids.Sure they had Christmas trees here, Christmas music was played in the hotels and in the malls. In fact, We were impressed to see how often we heard or saw the phrase Merry Christmas posted. To this country’s credit, we haven’t once seen a Happy Holidays or Merry X-mas in this primarily Buddhist but mostly secular nation. Merry Christmas has been the mantra of the day. But for whatever reason, this season simply hasn’t felt the same and I confess to missing the boxes and baking the snow the shopping -- even all the Christmas chaos -- I missed it. I really did.
So as we sat down to watch the First Presidency Christmas devotional , I was looking for a Christmas lift to my spirits.
It was a beautiful devotional , formatted much differently than it had been in the past. I found myself quite emotional and as I watched I found myself considering Christmas quite differently . As talk after talk reminded me to forget the commercial bustle of Christmas and focus on Christ, I thought about something Todd had reminded me of: that we had a rare opportunity to spend time together and focus on nothing but her needs. No demands, no distractions. Our exclusive focus could be on her and building her relationship with both of us. I though of the Savior, who, throughout his ministry , though he preached to all, also focused on the one.
A professor at BYU had reminded our class once that the word sheep is both singular and plural. To Feed His Sheep is not to just feed the five thousand, but to nourish and nurture the single sheep -- even a little lamb like Maylia.
Soon my wistful feelings grew into gratitude, thankful for the precious gift of this time together.
I loved these words from President Monson:
“ Finding the real joy of Christmas comes not in the hurrying and the scurrying to get more done. We find the real joy of Christmas when we make the Savior the focus of the season.
May we give as the Savior gave. To give of oneself is a holy gift. We give as a remembrance of all the Savior has given. May we also give gifts that have eternal value, along with our gifts that eventually break or are forgotten. How much better the world would be if we all gave gifts of understanding and compassion, of service and friendship, of kindness and gentleness.
As the Christmas season envelops us with all its glory, may we, as did the Wise Men, seek a bright, particular star to guide us in our celebration of the Savior’s birth. May we all make the journey to Bethlehem in spirit, taking with us a tender, caring heart as our gift to the Savior.”
Saturday, December 14 - Traffic Rush
Now, the road to El dorado may be paved with gold but the roads in China could be paved with pedestrians. If you’ve ever played the Traffic Rush app, or enjoyed a game of frogger, you’d have some idea of what the view is like out of our hotel window.
Because our hotel room overlooks the corner of a large intersection just down from busy Wangfujing street , traffic is fast and frequent. Compound that with buses, bikes, tuk tuks, and any number of scooter like apparatuses carrying boxes, bags, baskets or the occasional family of four, it makes for an interesting and nerve wracking scene.
Not only do drivers have very few rules to follow, they seem entitled to break whatever rules that may exist. Any one on foot is at their own risk and everywhere you go the sounds in the air are punctuated with the sound of cars honking their horns at people as they bob and weave their way across the road.
Knowing what the traffic was like, as we ventured on an outing to a restaurant across the street we moved quickly and carefully and looked several ways and waited before we walked across . The pedestrian light turned green but we had only taken a few steps when a black car turned right towards us without even looking at us. He skimmed so close past us that we were less than a few centimetres from getting hit. Todd hit the top of the car to let the driver know how close he had come to running us over. We continued walking, only to find ourselves being screamed at from the car as it turned the corner.
I was a little unprepared for the verbal assault as the man pulled over, rolled down his window and began to shout. I don’t have to know any more Chinese than I do to know he wasn’t calling out an apology. Todd called back, told him to watch where he was going, but the man continued to yell and yell. I was anxious to go, people were starting to slow down and stare and I was becoming a little concerned as to what this man might do as he seemed more than a little enraged -- at what though was beyond us.
Obviously it was okay that he hit us with his car, but not that we hit his car. A subtle but significant difference apparently. Thankfully he drove away, and any further incident was averted. We talked about the experience as we ate. Whether or not we were in the right didn’t make a difference. We are guests in this country, and so even if we don’t agree with how they drive it isn’t up to us to enforce. Thankfully none of us were hurt and it was a good reminder to be cautious, be respectful and careful, and to remember the proverb that Grandpa Shipley always closes his letters with: Slowly Walk.
Saturday, December 14 - Daily Developmental Differences
Though we had wanted to stay in, we didn’t see much on the room service menu we thought she could eat so we hoped that the buffet in Beijing loved Congee as much as they did in Guangzhou. They didn’t...and I didn’t blame them... but I wondered what on earth we were going to feed this girl . In the end we opted for some pasta and were surprised and delighted that not only did she eat it but wanted to feed herself as well.
It’s been incredible to witness her growth and progress in just over a week, be it eating, sleeping, walking and talking and especially to see this unique little personality emerge.
Eating
On Day 1 she didn’t seem to know how to chew or even swallow well . She held the food in her mouth until it melted. She couldn’t use a sippy cup and would let us squeeze a little liquid into her mouth at a time. By the very next day she had moved from crackers to bread and was starting to place the crackers one by one in her mouth and she figured out how to suck from a sippy cup that we placed in her mouth. The day after that she was holding the cup on her own and drinking like a pro. And not only was she taking congee from a spoon but wanted to use her own spoon as well -- holding it upside down of course, but holding it on her own. By the next day the spoon was right side up she finished an entire bowl of congee . At KFC she was eating their mashed potatoes and then noodles for supper.
On Day 1 she didn’t seem to know how to chew or even swallow well . She held the food in her mouth until it melted. She couldn’t use a sippy cup and would let us squeeze a little liquid into her mouth at a time. By the very next day she had moved from crackers to bread and was starting to place the crackers one by one in her mouth and she figured out how to suck from a sippy cup that we placed in her mouth. The day after that she was holding the cup on her own and drinking like a pro. And not only was she taking congee from a spoon but wanted to use her own spoon as well -- holding it upside down of course, but holding it on her own. By the next day the spoon was right side up she finished an entire bowl of congee . At KFC she was eating their mashed potatoes and then noodles for supper.
Sleeping
Though she often fussed when we put her down, and sometimes cry for a couple of hours, she responds more and more to routine and doesn’t try to resist. In fact , she will often get quiet as fatigue takes over , slowly drop down and then drift off to sleep -- be it for naps or for bedtime.
Bath time
Though she was a little hesitant at first , by bath # 2 she was beginning to splash in the water and, considering that she’d probably never been in a bathtub in her life, she never seemed to be bothered by water being poured over her head.
By bath # 5 she was bathing on her own and she loved when a little water was running from the faucet that she could fill up her container with and pour it into her mouth.
It was amazing to see how in just a few days she went from barely getting wet to practically waterboarding herself -- that was progress!
By bath # 5 she was bathing on her own and she loved when a little water was running from the faucet that she could fill up her container with and pour it into her mouth.
It was amazing to see how in just a few days she went from barely getting wet to practically waterboarding herself -- that was progress!
Playtime
She clung completely to the little hippo we had handed to her on the first day we met her and it was definitely her go to toy of choice -- her initial security item. Not only was she not interested in the doll I tried to give her, but she even seemed almost aggressive towards it. She would poke at its eyes and then throw it away from her. The toys we brought her didn’t seem to be of much interest either even with the noisy buttons to push and she did not have the patience nor see the appeal of books. She pushed them away and did not want to look at them, even from my lap. She’d likely never been read to.
Her favorite objects seemed to be ordinary functional ones -- the sippy cup or a ziploc container. She especially loved lids and caps and I decided pretty quickly to ditch the doll I had originally bought her for Christmas and wrap up some plastic containers instead. But like everything else her play skills progressed.
After only a couple of days she lost interest in the hippo and began to show interest in some of the other things. She would still throw the doll but seemed less and less aggressive towards it and by the end of the week even called it ‘bebe’ and on one outing even carried it with her. She sat for almost 3 whole minutes to look at a book and would try to push the buttons on her shape sorter toy.
She still LOVED containers and lids and she would carry an empty water bottle with a lid around for hours. My favorite day was when she took all the broken crackers out of her ziploc container and used two fingers to put them inside the water bottle. When it was nearly full she then put the water bottle up to her mouth and would ‘drink the crackers’ as one by one they would fall into her mouth. It was the funniest thing.
After only a couple of days she lost interest in the hippo and began to show interest in some of the other things. She would still throw the doll but seemed less and less aggressive towards it and by the end of the week even called it ‘bebe’ and on one outing even carried it with her. She sat for almost 3 whole minutes to look at a book and would try to push the buttons on her shape sorter toy.
She still LOVED containers and lids and she would carry an empty water bottle with a lid around for hours. My favorite day was when she took all the broken crackers out of her ziploc container and used two fingers to put them inside the water bottle. When it was nearly full she then put the water bottle up to her mouth and would ‘drink the crackers’ as one by one they would fall into her mouth. It was the funniest thing.
Fine & Gross Motor
Her fine motor skills always surprised us -- she was a lot better then either Steele or Grayson was at that age. She had no problem using a two finger grasp to pick up something small and when I placed a crayon in her hand she nearly had a tripod grasp.
Walking however seemed increasingly difficult for her. She didn’t like to walk much and she would often trip over her right foot -- especially on carpet. You saw the difficulty of her pronated leg especially when we would walk down a ramp. That said she would walk more and more independently and became braver and braver...as long as she was holding me or Todd’s hand. But since I’m a lot braver when I hold Todd’s hand, I knew exactly how she felt.
Language and Personality
The first day we were with Maylia she was completely non-verbal. It was what we expected as one of the typical indicators of grief over such an enormous transition. As the days ...even as the hours progressed, we would hear her make a few sounds...some more repetitive than others as if she were speaking words or phrases. When we asked our guide if she was actually saying any words or just speaking baby talk she confirmed the latter. We know when she is happy because she babbles continuously and its been wonderful to even hear her repeat what we say -- and every so often she’ll repeat a sound like thank you or baby.
Once, when she said bye bye and waved her little hand I said to Todd ‘ She’s so smart -- she’s almost as smart as (insert name here)!”
“ Well, she’s even smarter,” Todd replied proudly, "she understands Chinese!”
Once, when she said bye bye and waved her little hand I said to Todd ‘ She’s so smart -- she’s almost as smart as (insert name here)!”
“ Well, she’s even smarter,” Todd replied proudly, "she understands Chinese!”
As she babbles and makes sounds, that’s when her little personality starts to shine. She loves to play hide and seek, especially with Todd. One of our favourite things is when she will pull something apart or drop something in a container and then she’ll look up in mock surprise and say ‘“ Oah!” open her eyes wide and make a little circle with her lips. She completely cracks us up all the time.
Attachment
To this day we couldn’t be more surprised and grateful for not only how comfortable she is with us, but how genuinely connected she seems to us. From that first day in the store , from our time at the orphanage to even today when one of the housekeepers reached out to her, her first thought is to retreat back into our arms. Even if she does go to someone for a moment, it’s only another moment until she turns right back towards us. Attachment is, of course, a process of trust and security that happens over time. It is a relationship that is built between parent and child as a child's needs are constantly and consistently met through love, patience and nurturance. But we are so grateful that even now she seems to have developed both a physical and an emotional dependence on us.
Saturday, December 14 - Wangfujing
Once again we were situated on a swarming shopping street in Beijing so we set out both to explore as well as to hunt, hoping to find a hat and some mittens to protect little Maylia from Beijing’s much cooler temperatures.
Since we were all getting hungry we decided to try a very common delicacy in China. KFC. It was everywhere -- even more prevalent than 7-11 or McDonalds which were everywhere as well. Kentucky Fried China did not disappoint and we were grateful that even Maylia found some food we enjoyed so after our meal we decided to brave bustling Beijing once again.
The further we walked the more lively and crowded the street became -- Wangfujing was much more commercialized than I had remembered it being. Aside from the market stalls there were now a number of high end American and European shops with two giant mall developments anchoring the square.
The streets were packed with shoppers and we passed stores selling souveneirs as well as a number of American chain stores. At the entrance to another market we passed a stall selling scorpions and seahorses on skewers but decided with Maylia’s deteriorating mood to brave that market another day.
The streets were packed with shoppers and we passed stores selling souveneirs as well as a number of American chain stores. At the entrance to another market we passed a stall selling scorpions and seahorses on skewers but decided with Maylia’s deteriorating mood to brave that market another day.
We finally entered into one of the massive malls and it felt like any other shopping mecca on a December weekend: busy, bustling , full of teens and families . We finally had to go into a GAP Kids before we found anything that would fit her. It felt annoying to pay such high prices knowing that somewhere near hats and mitts were being sold for less than a couple of dollars but we paid the price for both expediency ...and because I couldn’t bring myself to purchase the ones that were covered with lace and glued-on sequins. It was style over savings. Maylia was more than fussy at this point and we decided to leave the crowds and return home to bed and to hopefully have a much quieter night.
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