Wednesday, December 11 -- Passports & Pearls

She had woken up at 4 again and slept on me until about 6. Though she went down pretty mad she woke up quite happy and everyday seemed a little less stunned at seeing us there. Bath time was great and breakfast even better -- I’m going to definitely need to learn to make congee -- though I draw the line at the seafood kind. I keep thinking she has a dirty diaper and realize its the seafood congee that is makes her breath absolutely rank. We’re still working on brushing her teeth. One traumatic experience at a time!

Todays agenda included a trip to the passport office. Now that she was officially our daughter we needed to get her a passport so she could travel and until we could secure her citizenship ( which could take months? years?) so Maylia would travel on her Chinese passport. We entered the passport office and found a number of the same families again that we had seen at the Civil Affairs office. We sat on chairs and were thrilled when Becky came over with a little ladybug backpack. 

Back in August we were able to send a little care package to Maylia’s orphanage with three items -- a backpack, a doll and a photo album with pictures of our family. We were told at the time to bring a duplicate album over, just in case either the care package didn’t get to her was lost or left at the orphanage. I kept my expectations pretty low that we would see it again though I had hoped. Apparently there was another child who had been adopted from the same orphanage and it had been accidentally sent with them. We met them there and visited with C & D who had adopted a another girl, a three year old also from Foshan. C&D were an amazing couple. They had -- I think it was 11 kids, some biological others fostered, others adopted -- and if I remember correctly this was their second child adopted from China. We visited mostly with C as D sat holding their daughter who sat quietly. C told us that the transition had been difficult for her -- the first day she had cried for 5 hours straight and that other than her cries, she was completely non-verbal. She too was still formula fed, and would take only a little solid food, nor was she toilet trained. C was concerned that the orphanage had been less than forthcoming about the extent of their daughters delays and wanted to know what our experience had been. We, like them,  had only received a few photos and a limited amount of information mostly medical tests. There was nothing really anecdotal that identified habits or behaviours. Todd and I quietly counted our blessings yet again. It was obvious to us that an extra year of institutionalized care had taken its toll on this sweet girl and she had a number of delays and challenges to overcome. What a blessing for her to go into such a loving family.

We wanted to talk further but after only a few minutes were called up for our passport. Maylia cried as they tried to take her picture but it only took a few seconds and we were done. 

I have to give it to the Chinese -- not to mention credit to Children’s Bridge and to Becky. Everything we have had to do, every appointment or office or official document we’ve had to secure has been handled in the most easy and efficient manner. We expected long waits, long lines and excessive of bureaucratic  red tape -- but apparently that’s what the last 5 years were for because everything thus far has been easy, efficient and handled with expediency. Becky rushed us out to the van before we had a chance to exchange emails with C&D but hopefully we can connect via their guide. I think it’s important, especially as Maylia grows up and understands more about her adoption to know someone who has come from the same orphanage -- a point of identity and connection. A way to fill in and flesh out part of her history.

Becky had promised us to take us shopping for jewelry. Other ‘recommended gifts’ were for the orphanage. We had picked up a box of diapers, some formula and a number of toys, but wanted to get something for the particular nannies who had taken care of Maylia. We walked through the jewelry market and past shops with the most exquisite stones and jewels. 

Rows of tourmaline, amber, silver and lapis and quartz -- some raw and uncut, others polished and strung into necklaces, pendants and bracelets. The phrase ‘Thou shalt not covet’ repeated over and over in my head. Boy it was hard not to. Todd had been looking at some of the wooden bead bracelets. The wood they used was incredible fragrant and richly coloured. We stopped in a shop and I asked about a driftwood coloured bracelet. It had marble sized beads that smelled beautifully and was as light as  feather. Sandalwood, the shop owner said. I asked the price. 6000 Yuan -- about a thousand dollars. That must be some kind of tree. 

Surprisingly to me, pearls were the most reasonable priced jewelry there and thankfully our guide had a friend. Sure, it might have been ’a friend’ someone she struck a deal with so she could get a cut of the cost but I would rather go to someone where we could trust the quality . “What looks pretty’ is not a standard to judge anything by.

We went up a number of floors, wound through some hallways and into what was clearly a wholesale supplier. Bags, and bags of strands and strands of pearls -- of every size and colour -- were stacked and piled on tables . Three women stood at the front -- we told them our preference and our price range and they directed us to some bags at the back. We selected the colour and size we wanted, took them to the front where we looked through the strands and selected a few to make into necklaces. We chose them as best we could and then in less than 10 minutes the three women had every pearl on each strand tied individually and strung on a necklace. We selected a clasp and a silk drawstring bag and that was it.

Though we paid a lot more than we would have if we had been shopping with the shrewd and experienced eye of Todd’s parents, we paid a lot less than we would have anywhere else for the size and quality of pearls. We were more than pleased and I’m sure the shopkeepers were too. 

We invited Becky back to the hotel with us and treated her for dinner with us. It was great to get to know her better. She was also a product of China’s One Child policy. Had no siblings,(and, as I considered it, no aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews or nieces). She lived with her parents and had a grandmother in Hong Kong. Her hobbies were working and , when not working, relaxing,  and, when their combined busy schedules permitted it, she would get to see her boyfriend. We had a lovely meal together and felt so blessed that she was the girl who had guided us so deftly through this extraordinary week.