Saturday, December 14 - Daily Developmental Differences

Though we had wanted to stay in, we didn’t see much on the room service menu we thought she could eat so we hoped that the buffet in Beijing loved Congee as much as they did in Guangzhou. They didn’t...and I didn’t blame them... but I wondered what on earth we were going to feed this girl . In the end we opted for some pasta and were surprised and delighted that not only did she eat it but wanted to feed herself as well.

It’s been incredible to witness her growth and progress in just over a week, be it eating, sleeping, walking and talking and especially to see this unique little personality emerge. 

Eating 
On Day 1 she didn’t seem to know how to chew or even swallow well . She held the food in her mouth until it melted. She couldn’t use a sippy cup and would let us squeeze a little liquid into her mouth at a time. By the very next day she had moved from crackers to bread and was starting to place the crackers one by one in her mouth and she figured out how to suck from a sippy cup that we placed in her mouth. The day after that she was holding the cup on her own and drinking like a pro.  And not only was she taking congee from a spoon but wanted to use her own spoon as well -- holding it upside down of course, but holding it on her own. By the next day the spoon was right side up she finished an entire bowl of congee . At KFC she was eating their mashed potatoes and then noodles for supper. 

Sleeping

Though she often fussed when we put her down, and sometimes cry for a couple of hours, she responds more and more to routine and doesn’t try to resist. In fact , she will often get quiet as fatigue takes over , slowly drop down and then drift off to sleep -- be it for naps or for bedtime.

Bath time

Though she was a little hesitant at first , by bath # 2 she was beginning to splash in the water and, considering that she’d probably never been in a bathtub in her life, she never seemed to be bothered by water being poured over her head. 
By bath # 5 she was bathing on her own and she loved when a little water was running from the faucet that she could fill up her container with and pour it into her mouth. 
It was amazing to see how in just a few days she went from barely getting wet to practically waterboarding herself -- that was progress!

Playtime

She clung completely to the little hippo we had handed to her on the first day we met her and it was definitely her go to toy of choice -- her initial security item. Not only was she not interested in the doll I tried to give her,  but she even seemed almost aggressive towards it. She would poke at its eyes and then throw it away from her. The toys we brought her didn’t seem to be of much interest either even with the noisy buttons to push and she did not have the patience nor see the appeal of books.  She pushed them away and did not want to look at them, even from my lap. She’d likely never been read to. 

Her favorite objects seemed to be ordinary functional ones -- the sippy cup or a ziploc container. She especially loved lids and caps and I decided pretty quickly to ditch the doll I had originally bought her for Christmas and wrap up some plastic containers instead. But like everything else her play skills progressed.  
After only a couple of days she lost interest in the hippo and began to show interest in some of the other things. She would still throw the doll but seemed less and less aggressive towards it and by the end of the week even called it ‘bebe’ and on one outing even carried it with her. She sat for almost 3 whole minutes to look at a book and would try to push the buttons on her shape sorter toy. 
She still LOVED containers and lids and she would carry an empty water bottle with a lid around for hours. My favorite day was when she took all the broken crackers out of her ziploc container and used two fingers to put them inside the water bottle. When it was nearly full she then put the water bottle up to her mouth and would ‘drink the crackers’ as one by one they would fall into her mouth. It was the funniest thing. 

Fine & Gross Motor

Her fine motor skills always surprised us -- she was a lot better then either Steele or Grayson was at that age. She had no problem using a two finger grasp to pick up something small and when I placed a crayon in her hand she nearly had a tripod grasp.

Walking however seemed increasingly difficult for her. She didn’t like to walk much and she would often trip over her right foot -- especially on carpet. You saw the difficulty of her pronated leg especially when we would walk down a ramp. That said she would walk more and more independently and became braver and braver...as long as she was holding me or Todd’s hand. But since I’m a lot braver when I hold Todd’s hand, I knew exactly how she felt.

Language and Personality

The first day we were with Maylia she was completely non-verbal. It was what we expected  as one of the typical indicators of grief over such an enormous transition. As the days ...even as the hours progressed, we would hear her make a few sounds...some more repetitive than others as if she were speaking words or phrases. When we asked our guide if she was actually saying any words or just speaking baby talk she confirmed the latter. We know when she is happy because she babbles continuously and its been wonderful to even hear her repeat what we say -- and every so often she’ll repeat a sound like thank you or baby. 
Once, when she said bye bye and waved her little hand I said to Todd ‘ She’s so smart -- she’s almost as smart as  (insert name here)!” 
“ Well, she’s even smarter,” Todd replied proudly, "she understands Chinese!”

As she babbles and makes sounds, that’s when her little personality starts to shine. She loves to play hide and seek, especially with Todd. One of our favourite things is when she will pull something apart or drop something in a container and then she’ll look up in mock surprise and say ‘“ Oah!” open her eyes wide and make a little circle with her lips. She completely cracks us up all the time. 

Attachment 

To this day we couldn’t be more surprised and grateful for not only how comfortable she is with us, but how genuinely connected she seems to us. From that first day in the store , from our time at the orphanage to even today when one of the housekeepers reached out to her, her first thought is to retreat back into our arms. Even if she does go to someone for a moment, it’s only another moment until she turns right back towards us. Attachment is, of course, a process of trust and security that happens over time. It is a relationship that is built between parent and child as a child's needs are constantly and consistently met through love, patience and nurturance. But we are so grateful that even now she seems to have developed both a physical and an emotional dependence on us.